2nd Mastectomy and reconstruction from buttock area. Only been the 3/4th person to have had this done.

Tuesday 9th August 2010: 2nd Mastectomy and Reconstruction. I am only the 3/4th Person to have had this done where I stay.

 Well been a week since I got this done on my right side and 10 months since the left side was done.  Phew!!!!!!!! So sair and tight this time round, still getting used to the bone removal/ rib bit removed that the surgeon needed to do to get to work behind the breast for the reconstruction after the mastectomy. This time because of thin veins caused by the F.E.C. Chemo; Cannula had to be put into my foot. No-one allowed to touch my left arm due to full lymph node removal from last op and no-one allowed to touch my right arm as operation on right side this time. No lymph nodes were removed. Went down about 8.30am and

into anesthetic room/pre op room, where both surgeons who had already seen me greeted me again. Plastic surgeon had spent ages with me the night before trying to find blood vessels in my right buttock to use for the reconstruction build of body tissue and had extreme difficulty finding one. He said that he went home thinking about this and told me that he would again listening in during the operation to try and find them, but may have to give me an expander which could be filled up if things were still so very faint. (This would be temporary and I would go back at a later date to get the proper body tissue reconstruction once my vessels had got stronger; Reason so faint, due to Chemotherapy, etc )

Anaethetist was locum and was on the Ramadam Process and I hoped he had steady hands and would not feel faint while being with me.

Next I remember waking up to see a clock in my face saying 6.30pm, then hearing voices talking about all my drains and need to get me up to the ward as recovery room was needed.................. I remember saying "Are you telling me I am recovering in a corridor? To which the reply came," Nurse was on way down and recovery room was now needed for someone else". Then I saw a large hand go toward my foot and I let out such a scream!!!!  The Cannula had slipped out and needed put back in!!!. I conked out. Came round again in side room on ward to see hubby and bottom of bed and doctors/nurses at both sides getting me settled re the drains, tubes, machines, drips and leg machine all to be connected up. I conked out again and woke up a few hours later.

I was on my back totally and could hardly move. Last time I was on my side and felt comfy. Had to be put onto my back re my frozen left shoulder and could not lie on the right side re side of operation.  So there I was!!!!!!!!!!

More drips, drains, tubes, catheter and my foot was aching re the Cannula site in. Blood pressure dropped every time I tried to nod off to sleep.... 75/30 and the machine went off a few times; nurses rushed in as machine noted I had stopped breathing, but it was so shallow my breaths and not registering and it was hard for me to deep breath re pain in operating site and lying on my back. 

1st nite Tuesday pretty bad and unsettled. Given Gel pack through drip and cannula in foot to increase my blood pressure,I was not allowed to be raised any higher than 25 degrees and my head was so foggy, light and dizzy due to blood loss of 500mg. Nurses had to take blood pressure from my left calf, so had a full length surgical stocking on this leg and a knee stocking on my right leg. Surgeon had managed to get a few blood vessels and do the body tissue reconstruction again for the right side and I was glad. But when it came to the small monitor machine on the breast, the link of vessels were so faint and intermittent, fear was it had not taken and the operating theatre was kept open.

Wed hated it when woke up as could not even lift a glass of water to drink, sit up to eat anything and still on my back!!! Nurses had to help me drink out a straw and feed me. Very hard to do this when lying flat on back believe me. 2nd nite the same and hated it as I could not move!!! Breathing still very shallow and blood pressure falling again!!!!! Foil was put on my chest and breast to warm area up and help the blood flow to the flap bed was raised a touch also and I asked for the blanket to be wrapped round both my arms to keep me cosy also.

It worked and flap began to turn pink and warm up.

(Had loads of visitors, felt for my youngest as she was not allowed to visit me as she had the shingles).

Thursday, was able to get up sit in chair for a wee while when got one drain out, later was able to go for a wee walk with nurse. Foot aching!!! Must have been some sight................ 2 drains still in, catheter and large handbag container hooked onto bottoms under dressing gown, Cannula and drip in foot. Awfy bonnie image ................. Glad to be able to get out of bed as so so stiff.

Pleaded for the Cannula to come out of my foot as very painful and it was causing me anxiety attack due to the pain.. Registrar agreed to remove it as long as I drank a glass of water every hour. Top of bed was raised a little more but I could not get to sleep.

Thursday 3rd nite I lay watching the clock move and willed myself to get past the hours of 4am and 7am, then I fell into a deep sleep. Scared I would stop breathing! Was tachycardia and petrified to go to sleep. Had the leg cushion machine removed.

Friday morning, rest of drains came out. Forced myself to eat as was determined that the thrush in throat would not go as far as it did the last time, so got Nystatin to keep it under control. Could not afford to lose anymore weight as was only 46.8kg when went in and never got back to my 52kg at all since last operation.

 Managed to get to shower and saw the operation site here for the first time. What a fecking mess, so much more bruising than last time. (Maybe there was the same amount of bruising on my left side last time as it took me several weeks to even have a small look at myself after the first operation last time.)

Got to go outside with hubby in a wheelchair to get some fresh air for 5 minutes, felt so closed in and loved the fresh air but had to go in earlier as felt so cold.

Catheter came out at midnight on the Friday and so relieved now fully free of drains etc etc . I was very aware of the hussle and bustle that was going on as there was a patient under armed guard less than 50 feet away from my room!!! (It was proved to be the person who had murdered his wife, then crashed his car and was now under the Court service.) Petrifying this experience was believe me!!!

I was to get home possibly early the next week. Saturday morning and I was to get bloods taken..........omg here we go again!!!!!!!!!! Some carry on followed............. back of right hand, I tried to tell the the doctor he would not get anything and my arm was not to be touched, but on he went.............. then my hand blew up into a large ball as he hit the vein, it collapsed and vein spurted out blood everywhere. Took 15 mins to stop the bleeding. Then he managed to get some from further up right arm!!! Severe bruising again............. I never used to be like this at all and now hate the thought when bloods are needed.  The Doctor told me that depending on the results, I may get home on the Saturday afternoon!!! Could not believe it.....WOW!!!!!  So I waited, fell asleep till 12 noon, nurse came in and I did not like her attitude as she said to me "You going to get up!!! or just lie there!!!!" I could of hit her, never ever been spoken to like this before and glared at her before replying "What did you just say sorry?"  Then she said it was lunch time, they had loads to do and it would be better if I could get up, showered and dressed, then she left me!!! I could not get out of the fecking bed and started to angry at her attitude toward me, jeesee peeps, she knew I needed help, but walked out and left me!!!  So I rang the nurse bell, she came back in, "What?" Had to keep my calm and bite my tongue................ "I need help to get up please", she smirked and if I could have smacked her, then I would of, but reminded myself that I was better than that and she had the problem not me!! She went out, came back, put stockings on the bed, got me up onto the chair and walked out again for 10 mins. (BITCH!!! I THOUGHT!!!, Well I will just sit here and wait and wait and wait!!!!) Hate people like that and it was my first time experiencing this attitude from a patients side. Then another nurse came in to serve dinner and asked why I was not showered or dressed, and I replied that I needed help as could not bend, bend my leg to get undressed etc etc, so she would help me after dinner. I told her about the last nurse and how I did not like the attitude at all toward me. Seemed to be that that particular nurse had a attitude problem with everyone!! Not good enough I said!!! So I had some lunch, phoned hubby as bloods came at mark 10.5 and they said I could go home. I was still there waiting for help to get changed, showered and dressed when hubby arrived with my wee grandson. I was so so happy to see him and he said to me he came to take me home again. Got huge hugs from him. Hubby looked at me as asked why I was not ready to go. I said to him needed to get changed etc before leaving. Another nurse popped in and said before I left needed the letter etc before I escaped. Fine. Then eventually yippee, someone came in to help me!! Hubby and grandson went to the canteen to get something to eat. We finally left about 3pm and I asked for the iron tablets, they said I would be fine, but I will be keeping an eye on my paleness etc and will get the iron tablets from my own doctor as I know he likes my blood count to be higher than 12/13 and not to be left about 10. 

Hubby and grandson pushed me in the chair and although we could have waited half an hour or so for the porter, the nurses let hubby wheel me out. Grandson got to ride on the footstool with me and he held my hands tighlty. What a wonderful heartfelt feeling this was. 

We went to see his mum and wee sister as she had been on antibiotics for the shingles, we did not stay too long as I was tired. We then went home to where my eldest was looking after my wee puppy and WOW!!!! What a welcome!!

Pup was up at the window when we pulled up in car, saw hubby open car door and get out, then saw hubby open my side and I got out................ He just could not get down from windowsill fast enough and was shaking when he saw me. He has never left my side since and now even takes slow steps with me going upstairs and will wait to see if I am ok before he takes another step. Was great to see him and when I saw my eldest, was so jealous of her tan that she just laughed and that was nice to hear her laugh so much.

Got settled in, had a wee sleep, had a wee greet when I saw read all the cards and so many well wishes for me, that I started to feel I was worth something again and it felt good.

I have not lost that feeling and its been a week now since my operation, Scars are healing well again, got a few pressure blisters, got thrush under control, still very tight in chest area re rib bone removed, frozen shoulder easing a bit more and need to do some light excersises on right arm as tightening up here, but very light as watching not to hurt the breast tissue and tram flap. Slowly getting to slightly bend my knee and in my own bed with my wee pup at my side all the way. Hubby still in other room sleeping as still too scared to sleep in same bed, but I guess it is a healthier option for both of us. (Been well over a year now separate rooms.) Concentrating on my eating and putting on some weight as I know this a difficulty for me and has always been, but hope I get back to 8 and half stone sometime. Know I have to face the ovaries coming out, but hope it is an easier operation for me and not a hysterectomy.) Gynecology have targetted November for this, depending on how I am healing and will under review. Hopefully I will be able to get to the Active Classes at local pool followed by the gym, but before any of that happens, I need to be able to do an emergency stop with driving.  Just like the last operation where there was a wee boy born into the bigger family on my side, this time I await the arrival of 3 babies news this month. ( Daughters will also be at Genetic Counsellor this month for their decisions and preventative programmes and I know my eldest has decided not to go ahead with any operations meantime, but follow a more healthy living programme, get her eggs frozen and hope she never gets Breast Cancer, though she has the missing code; youngest has decided to go for test.

Finally, I know this is a very long this time, but I have to say how disappointed I am with Life Insurance Companies. We found out that our term ends late August and during the renewal process I am to be required for medical tests, reports from doctor and I may not get any further life insurance or have to pay high premiums even though I have been told I am now Cancer free based on the last scans. I do think that Insurance companies, need to seriously look at their policies and come into the 21st Century and not discriminate against us, when there are so many new life saving treatments and research has progressed so far in relation to Cancer. Maybe this will be a further focus I could involved in as there should be an Ombudsman for this. 

Anyway must get some rest now.  Looking forward to see my American side of family in the next week or so and glad they have not been affected by those London Riots as they landed in the UK this week in London.