Whoopeeeeeeee......

Hi all Well you have all been blogging away and you've inspired me to join you - plus haven't done a non whinging blog for a while, so here goes. Well where do I start? Well as some of you know I lost my dog recently and have agonised over getting another, you know the thing trawling the online rescue centres looking for that special pooch - big mistake, cos of course I wanted them all, the sad, the old, the ill treated. Then a friend told me about a little dog that needed to be rehomed, so........ I now have a 3 yr old Westie called - wait for it - Chloe...nice name but not for a dog. Anyway she is very sweet and very different to my darling Whisky. Today was clinic day and some of you know my sister couldn't come with me, due to work commitments - in fact she lost one of her own dogs this weekend so we probably wouldn't have been good company for each other, hey that’s turning a negative into a positive. This is the last clinic appointment for chemo as yes folks I'm crossing the chemo bridge - zippeee dee doo daaaa!!!! The plan was I would get my bloods done and then go to the coffee shop for till my clinic appointment, have a coffee and a bit of cake. You all gave me your suggestions and I did think of you all and your choices. When I arrive it’s not that busy, there are three girls behind the counter - two are gossiping and the other is serving the man in front. I wait... and I wait. The cakes don’t look that great, so I consider the apricot flapjack but as you all probably know - high fibre foods are not good when you are on chemo. Then I notice the man in front in having sausages and beans and toast - they do cooked breakfast!!!! wow - but its served on a small polystyrene plate - oh yuk. One of the girls decides to stop gossiping and serve me.. result. Next to the sausages and beans are hot sausage rolls - oh my mouth is watering now and I've had no breakfast. So sorry I didn't have carrot cake or coffee and walnut - I had a lovely hot, flaky sausage roll and a cappuccino... actually why is it spelt that way? Cappuccino why isn’t there an H in there as in cappuchino???. Now the sausage was a little pink in colour - it’s OK it was cooked, but not sure what sort of sausage it was - probably over processed and full of rubbish. But do you know - I didn't care it was lovely, I sat it the conservatory bit and watched the mummy duck and her ducklings scratching around in courtyard outside. Now my only gripe was - what’s with the plastic plate and cardboard cup - the last time I was in the cafe 4 months ago - we had proper cups and saucers - must write to the chief exec about polystyrene and the hospitals green credentials. And why is there always someone setting up some table to sell things to people - this time is was Aloe Vera. Have me own plant thanks so there. Walked back the Mac unit to wait for my appointment, I only got halfway through the Sainsbury free giveaway magazine - just got the interesting bit - when Cherry the trials nurse came along. She was pleased that I was more bouncy this time - cried all over her last time! She weights me - I've lost weight - well I know that cos my jeans keep falling down and I'm having to wear a belt, bit of a pain when you need to go to the loo quickly - I have been known to undo the belt on the way up the stairs but then I trip over me trousers :)) We have a chat, more questionnaires to fill in then I return to reception, I just sit down, noticing someone has knicked the Sainsbury mag and someone calls my name, up I get and follow this nurse who say she needs to weigh me, Cherry's done that I replied, well I need to do some MRSI swabs, no I don't need them I tell her cos I don't have my treatment here, is this your first time she asks - errr no I'm coming to the end of chemo. It dawns on her that she doesn't have all the facts so she says go take a seat in reception. I just sit down again and reach for Womens Weekly - I didn't even get Womens Weekly open and Cherry is back, I make the joke about jack in the boxes and everyone laughs. Now you have to go to the Mac unit to understand why that fact needs mentioning - usually they are all really poorly, look sad and don't engage in eye contact let alone talk. I'm pleased that I have brought a little light relief to them. The nurse then collars us and asks about the MRI swabs and Cherry assures her I don't need to have them - I try not to look smug cos she obviously didn't believe me when I told her that. Saw my consultant - the scientific one, who I have warmed too - well I think she likes me cos I spoke about my experience of the trial at her presentation :)))) Apparently my bloods are fine, my liver is looking better this month - I asked what was wrong with it, although I know your liver has to process the chemo out of your body. I wonder if my fluid intake had an impact - not alcohol - just fluid. We decide that my hair has thinned on CMF, she noticed it so it’s definitely not a seasonal fall out - I explain that I would be gutted it I lost it now especially after doing the cold cap for 4 cycles. They are referring me back to the surgical team for my lymph node clearance - it can be scheduled for anytime after 1 June - not looking forward to it and am going to be asking way more questions this time. I asked whether they will be doing a scan, cos I know a lot of you have had them. But I'm told by the consultant that they don't routinely do them, that NICE guidelines say they shouldn't and that there was some study in Italy that said they don’t benefit anyone. Both her and Cherry are looking at me carefully, do I detect a little discomfort. Now I'm not impressed with NICE guidelines frankly - wish Sean was here cos he would know about that study. Basically if I have a relapse, there will be other signs and it won't be curable so .....!! However I will get my boob squashed every year so they can pick up if it returns to my right boob. Not sure how I feel about that, I know if I get secondaries then it’s not curable but possibly treatable - but I'd quite like to know if its elsewhere. I mean surely a scan is the only way of being sure. I am going to have a bone scan, mind you if the chemo had damaged me bones my wrist would have shattered when I tripped over my own feet the other week and became intimate with the pavement :)) Anyway the new pooch has decided that the sofa is her day bed and is asleep again, I'm realising that like white cars - white dogs show every bit of mud - mine now looks like she has brown boots on and I suspect she will be having a bath soon ;o))) She is booked in for a haircut in a few weeks, now I thought a haircut for a dog was - well a haircut. But apparently there is a puppy clip - which I think is like a short back and sides or a Skirt ????!!!!! which is where they leave some long bits. Goodness it was never this complicated with Whisky, just had to give her a bath (when she rolled on deer poo - phew) and a comb. Well got to feed the pooch and me. Take care all Carol xxx