Hi all,
I am sitting here with the sun streaming through the window and a rather large glass of white wine. I must also confess to having scoffed a Krispy Kreme...
What do I have to tell you? Not much really. Why am I blogging? Don't really know if I am honest.
I wanted to tell you silly things, that I watch the twins asleep next to me and I feel a tear coming as I know I won't get to see them grow up. So beautiful they will be too I am sure. I know this because I watch their older brother who is becoming so handsome. I look out onto our cul-de-sac at all the empty houses (we live in a development of houses that are being refurbished and we were one of the first to move in) and wonder who will move in? Will it be busy? Will it be a thriving little community? I won't know though. I think about my university course and all the parents I want to help when I graduate. Except I might not. I am welling up telling you this. But this you know. This is my new normal. Living with cancer is shit.
On the memory making front we have been busy, we bought a new (old) caravan and have been away this weekend to try it out. It rained. We had the usual family squabbles but we played games, listened to music and laughed a lot. There is something very comforting about lying in your bed in the caravan listening to the rain on the roof. It conjures up memories of a childhood spent in caravans. Oldest master H is all signed up for high school and has new uniform to wear to, quite momentous my first born going to high school. I sincerely hope I live to see the others to high school ...
On the cancer front I saw my oncologist last week, he is happy with my current appearance but has agreed to scan me in four weeks time instead of in August. I couldn't rest until I know one way or the other. I am in a fair amount of pain still in my back and leg so am worried it is more than the radio/chemo/menopause. He was fairly positive about potential trials when we need to start treatment again.
I am also trying to lose the chemo/cake weight, so have begun swimming again and attempting to eat healthier. This is pretty hard with little to no willpower I can tell you. Rome wasn't built in a day eh?
The children have a new pet too....a bearded dragon named Darwin....a bit of a change from a gerbil but he/she is certainly keeping their interest.
Life is continuing, not the most interesting life but it is my life and I jealously guard it. Every day matters.
Anyway must go, the Krispy Kremes are calling......
