Hello dear readers,
I have been musing over whether to blog or not to blog, do you really want to know the minutiae of our ordinary lives? or just the cancer bit? But I figure you probably do want to know about the good bits too, shows you that even under the worst circumstances you can enjoy yourself. If you like me have this 'terminal' diagnosis but are not yet in that 'place' yet where your mind allows you to shut out for brief interludes then it will help to know you can? Maybe?
Chemo was uneventful this week, I had it on the ward this week instead of the day room, this just means I get to laze around on a bed with a remote control and if I wish pay for extortionate TV. The problem with being on the ward though is that the day room gets priority so my chemo comes later. I can live with this though because, the side room comes with the huge benefit of it's own ensuite bathroom. Bliss I can tell you when you are pumped full of saline solution which is to protect my kidneys from the poisons they are also pumping into me. Like clockwork every chemo by the afternoon my bladder (already irritated by the Bastard) cannot seem to hold the fluids and I am up and down like a yo-yo to the loo.
This weekend we went to a lovely caravan that we have kindly been loaned by a wonderful cancer charity - Emmanuel House. They do amazing things for cancer patients. On our way we dropped Jo off at the airport, a little late, sorry! The caravan site was lovely, quiet and just what we needed. The caravan was cosy and comfortable and offered more floor space for the twins to play in than we have at home currently. They went bonkers, opening cupboards and drawers and generally having the time of their lives. Unfortunately I was unable to go completely cancer free, I needed to bring my syringe driver with me. This necessitated me arranging a referral to the local district nurse as the syringe needs reloading every 24 hours. It was easily arranged however by registering with the local doctor surgery and meant that I could enjoy my time away without worrying about nausea. The district nursing teams of the NHS are a great boon and I for one am very grateful they still exist.
We spent Saturday in a lovely town called Barnard Castle, mooching around lovely shops and having lunch in a cafe. A even managed to repair a puncture on the buggy in a pub. Skills. But then he always has been a handy person to have around. The scenery around the area really is stunning and apart from the road there were areas of moorland with no other sign of human habitation.
ooooo get me! I have managed to add a photo!
It was very relaxing, true we were not really cancer free but still, there were moments when I did forget momentarily.
Now we are home and my 'jelly legs' has started in earnest and to be honest I am off my food, nothing tastes right and I still feel quite queasy. I will sleep tonight I guess but all the happier for having made a weekend of memories with the twins and A.
The next hurdle is waiting to hear on the life insurance, I am not certain they are going to pay out yet, we really need them to as we desperately want to sort out the forever house before I am too ill to have any input on it. Also to be frank, we need the space. I have also lately been thinking about my funeral, this too needs some thought and the insurance will pay for this. I do not want A to have to arrange all this after, who would want to deal with that whilst dealing with the loss of your life partner? Not me. So I have to do it now. To this end I have started thinking about songs I want played. So far I have chosen Kate Rusby's Underneath the Stars. It's a start?
Speak soon, take care.
xxx
