Been to chemo today, my penultimate session.
Having had an extra week off I was feeling really chipper. Downside of that extra week off is that, my body seems to crash so much quicker when I do get the chemo, like today. As A pointed out a bit of a double edged sword.
I drove Bob there. Couldn't find a disabled spot so had no choice but to park in multi storey where you have to pay and display. £7.70 for over 5 hours. My chemo takes 7 at least. EEEEEE. I decided to put £5.50 on for up to 5 hours and review the situation later. I carefully placed my ticket in Bob's windscreen and his vent promptly swallowed it. Meh. I had no further change. Double meh. I decided to go talk to the reception about my predicament. The lovely lady took my registration and said I didn't need to pay as I was a day patient with a disable badge. Could have saved chucking my expensive ticket down the vent entirely. Lesson learnt.
Lately they have been struggling with veins. They run and hide at the slightest squeak of a needle. It really hurts now too, the back of my hands are agony so they are a no go area. They are talking about a permanent port but I only have one session left and I don't like the idea of having a permanent line in too much. My veins need to man up. The one today went in below my wrist on the inside of my arm, consequently it hurt. A lot. On the plus side only two occlusions and I got to relax in a nice room with free TV, swings and roundabouts, folks, swings and roundabouts.
I think I am one of the worst candidates for chemo, my veins have always been poor and I have a phobia of vomiting. Just peachy.
I was on my favourite ward today to make up for it though., I like the staff on Ward 34, they are always busy but are lovely people. The main issue with going into hospital though is that it is full of sick people. Sick people with cancer, a glimpse of the future and I don't much care for it.
Lately Little Miss H has been struggling. She hasn't been wanting to go to school. We asked her what was wrong (she used to like school). She said the work was too hard. But today she admitted she is worried that she will come home from school one day and I won't be there. How do I answer that? It is a possibility. I worry about it too. Marie Curie are sending someone to come and talk to us about counselling for the children. We thought they were coping but clearly not, Master H's teacher said he broke down in class the other day too. I hate this thing for what it is doing to my family. Tonight she is snuggled on the floor next to me on a little cot mattress with all of her favourite cuddlies.
Master H turned 11 today, can't believe it. I remember too well stroking his beautiful soft blonde hair and staring at him for most of the time I spent in hospital after I gave birth. I was wired by the time I got home. I never imagined I would be spending it away from him though having chemo to prolong my dramatically reduced lifespan.
When I got home we had birthday cake and cuddles, my favourites!
Got a packed weekend too, Thomas has his party (one of those laser quest thingys), house viewings and and the small matter of chucking ourselves off the Baltic art gallery and over the river Tyne on a zip wire.
Oh and Bob has his first pressies - a demister pad (remember those?) and a de-icer kit.....no heated rear screen and a heater with all the oomph of a warm puff of gnat's breath make these items a necessity not a luxury. Think I might ask for a woolly hat especially for when I am out driving Bob for my birthday.
The twins have woken crying so will have to sign off for and snuggle them in bed with us.
Good night xxx
