Sometimes I hate being right...

2 minute read time.

Hello dear readers,

Okay...so where were we?

Ahhh yes.....worrying about the Bastard's return.

My symptoms had worsened over the past few weeks and the blood in the urine episodes more frequent along with the pain.  Due to this I had my MRI a little earlier.

Last Saturday the pain became unbearable and I unfortunately ended up in A&E.  They transferred me to my usual cancer hospital for more observation and for them to try to get the pain under control.

I was also due to have a catch up with Dr Oncologist during the same week to discuss MRI results. 

He came up on the ward to see me to chat about the results and the reasons for my admittance.  Surprisingly the MRI didn't really show any real change to my previous scans but he was still unhappy with my pain.  The plan was for me to have a bone scan to check on my bone metastases.

In the meantime they upped my pain relief and waited for the results, all came back clear apart from the bit we already knew about in my pelvis.  Dr Oncologist was still certain that it was there and that we just needed to find it.  So a PET scan was ordered. 

I have never had a PET scan before, you are injected with a radioactive form of glucose after being nil by mouth since the evening before.  When you are scanned the idea being that the cancer cells have a higher uptake of the glucose so they light up more obviously on the scan.

Dr Oncologist came to see me the following day with the results.  Unfortunately it did show an uptake.  The Bastard is back.  Hiding away the sneaky F*cker in it's original home.  Deep in the middle of the old tumour but also showing some activity in my lymph nodes.

So here we are again, facing the prospect of fighting the Bastard again.  I knew I would have to and was warned all along that this would be the case until it finally wins.  Dr Oncologist is busy looking into possible trials that I can take part in but the only other option left to us is Chemo.

I will have to have a portacath this time though as my veins are becoming the bane of all my medical team.  This is all new to me, so will need to read up on it and what it is.  If there is one thing I hate it is not knowing what is happening to me.

I kind of feel like this is the beginning of the end.  I know I shouldn't and that I should be fighting the Bastard.  Every. Single Day.  And I will.  Because at the end of the day I don't want to leave my beautiful family. 

So Ding. Ding. Round two......come on you Bastard.....

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Ok, come on, we are all in your corner, we are all rooting for you. Fight the bastard, don't give up. Your lovely family and all of us are with you. Very best wishes and love to you, you are in our thoughts. X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I have followed your blog and know how brave you are....even blogging takes a lot of guts. Please keep fighting. Thinking of you all xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Natalie Prof Stebbing is on the case we are in your corner let us know if you need anything #teamverrico 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Blueric, sorry to hear your bad news, Hope the doc comes up with a treatment thats not too harsh. Sending virtual hugs Lynn2

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Natalie, I have followed you for some time and have even messaged you privately in the past. I just wanted to add to everyone's messages wishing you all the very best in your fight. I lost my husband to cancer 16 years ago and then contracted it myself 7 years ago. Five years ago I was told it had spread and was incurable. I was advised I probably had 2 years left. Well, as you can guess, I am still here. Somehow new things keep cropping up and I will try anything and so far they are working. I too am back on chemo and know when this stops working there is another drug I can try. I am bone weary but very happy to still be around and wish the very same for you.

    You must realise how many people are wishing you well and my wishes are added here.

    Love and lots of cuddles

    Fillyx