Morning all.
First of all apologies for not updating sooner but I have had friends visiting and there just hasn't seemed to be the time. No excuse I know.
I had my results. I think I had been secretly hoping for another outstanding episode of shrinking. Unfortunately it was not to be. Dr Oncologist still believes this is good news though, it was as if he could read my disappointment. He said that after our last results it is easy to get 'greedy' for more shrinkage, damn, this man knows me to well. He went on to explain that it is entirely possible there is nothing left to shrink and that what is left is scar tissue in which case it won't shrink. As much as I would like to believe this I somehow can't and feel that there is still cancer there. Call me pessimistic but I just get a feeling. However let us not get to despondent! We have more tools in our armoury and next Dr Oncologist intends to bring out the big guns! We are going to blast the bastard with radiotherapy and not happy with just that he is going to inflict more chemotherapy on it too. Apparently it makes the radiotherapy more potent? Well I am all for that but have to admit to being slightly nervous of all the side effects....
Dr Oncologist assures me this is the chemotherapy he gives to older people so I will be fine. Hmmm. I will be the judge of that. I am going to be given four weeks of radiotherapy with chemotherapy during week one and week four. Week one I will be given an injection with one drug and fitted with a pump that drips the other drug into my body over the week, put up Monday and taken down Friday, which means I will have the pump on 24/7 for 5 days. I will also have a few minutes of carefully targeted radiation each weekday for the four weeks. The drugs in question are Mitomycin and 5FU (Fluorouracil), the Mitomycin will be the injection and the 5FU the drip fed drug, the usual side effects apply, hair loss, nausea, diarrhoea amongst other 'delights' although the written info suggests I shouldn't get them all. Have they met my body?
Immediately following the appointment I felt a bit deflated, I suspect A was too. Jo had come to the appointment with me and I think she also felt my disappointment and did her best to focus on the positive that the bastard had not grown. She is right this is a positive. A big positive.
I have since received my treatment schedule and have realised that I will have to miss two radiotherapy appointments due to tutorials in Sheffield, I simply cannot be there, and also that I will have to attend one of these with my pump in place. I am slightly unhappy about this as I will be on the train so inevitably people will stare and I will also be in a group with people who are unaware of my illness but now I will probably have to explain about it. I had been hoping not to.
Let's focus on the good. Jo has been here this week, I have missed her, she came so I didn't have to go to my results appointment on my own. Childcare difficulties meant A couldn't as much as he wanted to. Another great friend came to stay for the rest of the week too. He has been our friend for many years, the kind of friend you hear nothing from or forget to speak to for weeks but when you do you both easily fall into a conversation with ease and pick up where you left off. We all enjoyed catching up and reminiscing about a part of our lives where we had much fun and high jinks. A time where cancer very much was not on the radar.
The week was finished off with a quiz night, A and I both went as we were able to arrange a babysitter. A rare event but enjoyed all the more because of it. We were happy knowing that the children were in the very capable of hands of a lovely lady who is just wonderful for offering that rare thing, time together.
I have the next three weeks off treatment and will spend most of it packing up the house, we hope to move during the middle of next month and are now really looking forward to it. The extra space will be incredibly welcome.
Till next time.
