Feelings, Friends and Food

Afternoon everyone. 

I thought I would do a quick entry while I feel well enough.

Since Friday evening when I had my first chemotherapy session I have lived on the sofa.  I can't go to bed as the twins sleep in the same room as us and I would disturb everyone all night.

Shrink you Bastard. Shrink.

I managed a small fish and chips on Friday and am glad I did because boy did the sickness hit with a vengeance on Saturday morning.  I have felt incredibly sick since then and in the last couple of hours have felt well enough to try some food.  I am glad of all the sickness medication I was handed, I can't imagine how much worse it might have been without them.  I haven't actually been sick but it is exactly like that overwhelming feeling of nausea you have when you are newly pregnant.  Awful.

I have lain here cuddling my hot water bottle and making sure the bucket was close by and my pain killers.  I also have mouthwash, I have to rinse my mouth out four times a day with it apparently. Very important I am told.  I have watched lots of history programmes, rubbish detective dramas and animal programmes since I got stuck here.  In my sofa rut.  I can only hope that the cancer feels as rubbish as I have. 

Shrink you Bastard.  Shrink.

A has managed admirably, the twins decided to spend all day yesterday screaming at him as they wanted milk and I couldn't give it.  Today they have been a bit more settled thankfully.  He has fed, watered and wiped bottoms where necessary (not mine I hasten to add, not that bad). 

Shrink you Bastard. Shrink.

More flowers arrived and some books, plenty to keep me going in the 'therapy room'.  People have been busy on Facebook sharing pictures of my mums ring which is similar to my wedding ring in the vain hope it will be found.  I am not hopeful.  Very much appreciated nonetheless.

But...

I find I cannot dwell on the bad people that took things from the house too much,  I am too busy being overwhelmed by the kindness of many others.  My children attend a wonderful school with fantastic children.  The parents of this school have always been pleasant and kind whenever I have come into contact with them.  Some I know well others I know only to smile at.  I will remedy this when I feel better.  You see, they have got together these wonderful human beings and arranged to make meals for us over the coming weeks and will deliver them to our door as well as offers to take care or collect or deliver the children to and from school.  Wow!  Just wow.  This is so much more amazing than any words could express really.  We are more grateful than you will ever know.  This kindness brought me to tears again (getting used to this, have tissues to hand at all times).

I have tried my first delivery, very yummy and much much better than hospital food.

So, it has been hard couple of days but also a couple of days where I have not been allowed to be miserable for kindness shining through the darkness.

Thank you.  Thank you all of you. 

And thank you to dear readers, especially for your comments.  It helps to know my ramblings are being read.