I could of titled this, "What else do I need to do?" As after 3 months of waiting and preparing for action it is now only 3 days until my operation on Wednesday morning to remove the cancer in the top of my rectum.
For those not in the Bowel Colorectal Cancer discussion group, a quick summary to date is that we have bought a 24 year old Vw campervan (name to be decided) with a very small ill health retirement pension I have decided to cash in so as to both fulfil a long held desire to own one and also provide accommodation whilst having treatment 120 miles from home, where my chosen colorectal surgeon works.
Since my diagnosis of rectal cancer in February 2014, 3 days before my Fathers funeral, I/we ( my husband Ed and I), have been walking that well trodden route of tests, scans and waiting. I have tried to use my time to prepare and plan for every conceivable eventuality to a most ridiculous extent . Home, garden, sorting out paperwork, a caring team for my adult disabled son, finances and building a network of prayer and practical support. The biggest distraction has been the sourcing and purchasing of the campervan.
Now in the final week to D Day we tried to take a 4 day break in Whitby but broke down on the Yorks Moors on the way to the campsite and spent 2 days camping on the forecourt of the repair garage on an industrial estate in Whitby. Followed by a trip in a huge recovery vehicle with us and the Campervan being returned to Lincoln for a proper repair. Now it is fixed and ready for packing and loading all our things for a 2 week stay on a campsite near Addenbrookes Hospital. We will have 1 night in the van together before the 7 am admission to hospital and then Ed will stay on site fir the duration of my hospital stay before I ( in theory) join him for a few days before daring to move back to Lincoln.
With bag ready to pack in a way to assist Ed with bringing me into hospital matching socks and co ordinated joggers and t shirts without getting into trouble and friends organised to water plants and deal with some cleaning and mail at home, it's now time for last minute but nevertheless important final tasks. Writing and leaving a for my son as Reassurance before saying goodbye with a cheerful and optimistic smile and hug and a promise to see him in 2 weeks on the road to recovery. I am glad he will not see me at my worst, I am his only parent and he depends so much on me. A list of email addresses for Ed's round robin email update for family, friends, colleagues and people at chapel. Final good lucks from neighbours and prayers from our pastor. Reassuring and informative exchanges from fellow bowel cancer sufferers via the Macmillian forum. How blessed are we? If anyone has all the ingredients for a great support then we have it.
That's the thing these last 3 months has featured, to plan for only the next stage as the game changes and moves fast, acknowledgement of each day and the value of everyone in our lives. So to go back to the opening question,
"What else do I need to do?" Be brave?, Stop trying to plan?, Go with the flow? I just look forward to being the other side of this operation . How it will work out coping with an unpredictable bowel and trying to manage in a little campervan, we can only wait and see.
