Today I took down the xmas decorations, cleaned the lounge from top to bottom and relished in the normality now that xmas is out of the way, this led me to thinking how we will feel when (fingers crossed) Rich is cancer free.
Will life just go back to normal again or will there always be that "fear" that it will come back? Do you panic with every sniffle/ache/slight pain? Can you ever fully relax? I am sure there are those of you reading this who can offer me some kind of answer to my questions but I know that for everyone their experiences differ greatly.
I have an inspiration, a lady called Helen (I hope she does not mind me mentioning her) . We have never met yet I look up to her and look to her as an example of strength and courage. We "met" via the internet long before Rich was ill. She has been there and won her fight with cancer and has gone on to have a beautiful little boy so I guess that is proof that there certainly is life after cancer. She, along with many other of my lovely friends, has been there every step of the journey to offer support and guidance and to give me a patients perspective to help me understand tough times that little bit better.
For now though this is just a dream, something to look forward to. A time where we are not counting down to the next chemo or blood test, a time when we can make plans and not worry about how it fits into treatment and hospital appointments.
We have a holiday booked for September, our first since the diagnosis and since Richie was born. This cant come soon enough and I live in hope that Rich is well enough to enjoy it too.
Let's hope you can all put it to the back of your minds once all treatments are finished, I'm sure you will get a bit anxious getting close to the regular check ups, I have heard some people worry when treatment ends, feeling like they are forgotten about..... But for myself I went out and celebrated, I hope everything goes well for rich, and you all enjoy your holiday
You will do just fine. You have the strength, support,
caring and most of all self belief, yes sure you will have your down days but I think you will have a lot more up days. Look after yourself and Good Luck.
