I really don't know what I did before this diagnosis but I feel like I'm on a treadmill that I can't seem to to get off.
Everyday I'm on a forum reading about cancer and how people are coping with surgery, chemo and radiotherapy. I've read Victoria Derbyshire's diary on my Kindle, watched her YouTube videos and even tweeted her and got a reply 
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I've joined a local Facebook cancer group and linked up with people who I have mutual friends with. I'm in contact with a lovely lady I started chatting to right at the start when we were both waiting for results. We've swapped numbers and message each other most days, offering support and just a friendly ear knowing the other knows EXACTLY how we are feeling.
I'm researching wigs and looking up turbans and scarves and how to tie them. I'm making lists of things I might need for after surgery (button up shirts) and preparing myself for chemo.
I'm meeting up with friends I haven't seen for a while (Covid ) and still shopping, cleaning and doing the mundane stuff.
My head is constantly full of thoughts of cancer and when I'm with family I have to consciously make myself talk about something else.
I know this is my way of dealing with things and once my surgery is done and chemo starts my brain will slow down.
