I am in a bad place at the moment. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2019, after a routine mammogram because I had turned 50.
At the time, I was preparing for a year sabbatical in Spain after working at the same place for over 20 years, a highschool in London. I worked at the finance department.
I was being treated at the Royal Free in London, and after consulting with my oncologist, I decided to have the cancer removed in the UK and to have the chemotherapy and radiotherapy in Spain. I informed my place of work of my diagnose and my intentions; the reacction of the HR manager was and still is shocking to me. I did not know at the time if the health service in Spain will take my case but the HR manager informed me that I will not qualify for sick leave if I went to Spain for my treatment. I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer three days prior and I had not only a professional relationship with the HR manager, we were also friends.
I went to see my GP who signed me off for 9 months. I went back to my place of work with a friend who was both HR and a Finance manager herself. The HR manager at my place of work agreed to grant me the sick leave consisting of 6 months full pay and 6 months half pay, on the condition that I would send regular updates.
I had the cancer removed at the Royal Free in London in August 2019 and I started chemotherapy in Spain in September 2019. I sent regular updates to the HR manager.
I was receiving my radiotherapy sessions when Covid happened. I was very lucky that my treatments carried on, even though the whole (Spain) country had gone in confinement. My radiotherapy treatment finished in April 2020. I live alone, and those confinement months were horrible....
I was eager to return to work for the academic year of 2020-2021. I wrote to the Head Teacher of the highschool to propose working from home at the end of July 2020, due to the Covid restrictions and the pandemic still raging, my doctors were not comfortable with me returning to London. My work is office based, so I thought that I could slowly return to my duties taking into account that rasonable adjustments needed to be made. I would like to add that other members of staff were working from home.
It is now December 2021 and I had a year from hell that had resulted in my mental health deteroration. Today I was supposed to attend an Industria Tribunal hearing. I am both physically and mentally exhausted. I had my breast reconstruction at the end of October and I am on a waiting list to see Mental Health professionals.
On the last year I have dealings with the Union, ACAS, the School Director of Resourses, the HR manager, the Occupational Health team, etc...
I have felt that cancer and covid are both my fault, due to some cosmic misshap ... I seldom sleep because my dreams are plagued with nightmares.... I am dragging myself around....
Working for the same organisation for over 20 years have ment nothing. I feel very alone and unable to carry on...
I have not been able to return to London yet, and every day I watch the news I get more and more depressed... I booked a trip on the 18th December but had to cancel it as I do not feel safe...
I feel that I have to tell my story to connect with others that might find themselves in similar situations, to learn from their experiences and to obtain tools to be able to move on for the bitter dissapointment that I feel. My situation at the moment is unsustainable.
I need help...
