So, 2019 was to be my year, I had so many things planned for my 50th birthday in August; gigs, trips abroad, west end theatre and basically having a complete ball. Some things I managed to do but most were cancelled. Why……. well, my husband and I were both diagnosed with cancer.
I had breast cancer and hubby had throat cancer. We were a bit in shock and looking back I think we just got onto autopilot and treated the whole thing as a project that we had to finish. After all, our lives depended on it!
How it all started
We were on one of our planned jaunts to London for a festival when I notice my left boob looked a bit weird.
I didn’t do anything about it initially but over the next few weeks a few more unusual symptoms occurred. Off I went to the GP who referred me to the breast clinic, and I was very blasé about the whole thing. I went on my own feeling quite confident it would turn out to be nothing and didn’t even register the fact that all of a sudden, I was being prodded and poked, having biopsies and scans and it was turning a bit serious. Anyway, the subsequent diagnosis was lobular breast cancer, which meant I needed an MRI scan. Boy, was that my biggest fear! I was absolutely terrified.
We managed to get to London for my actual 50th birthday and we spent it watching my favourite 2 singers perform the lead roles in Les Mis, the Staged Concert. We’d splashed out (well I had!) on front row seats and it was a fantastic experience.
However, looking back, I don’t remember much of it as I was thinking about my cancer and the upcoming MRI scan. We left London at 8am the following day and whilst on the train home I started the gradual process of drugging myself with the diazepam I had been prescribed to help me cope with the MRI. Of course, I managed the scan, and then shortly after we went to Corfu which was where we were when I got the results. Lying on a sunbed I heard that my cancer was in 3 places but at least only in the one boob. A mastectomy was now my only option, and surprisingly I was glad about this as it meant there was no decision for me to make re lumpectomy versus mastectomy.
Meanwhile my husband had started asking me and the boys if the lump on the side of his neck had always been there. I was so wrapped up in my own stuff that I didn’t really pay attention to him. We had family over for a BBQ and I overheard him asking them about his lump, and their response was, stop trying to compete with Sharon, she’s the one with cancer, yours will be nothing. How bad I now feel about that! Turned out he had cancer in his left tonsil. Who even knew that was a thing eh? It did however take a good while to get to this diagnosis as initially it was Cancer with an Unknown Primary (CUP). Who even knew that was a thing too?! We were both certainly on a steep learning curve!
Treatment
I had a mastectomy in early October 2019. I asked for a double mastectomy, but they wouldn’t do it. This has now been approved and I am on the waiting list for risk reducing surgery. When we went for the results, again we were a bit blasé, and did not see the next shock coming. The margins weren’t clear, and I needed further surgery. Off I went back to theatre on the same day that hubby was having all his molars and premolars extracted, a necessary evil before he began radiotherapy. So, both in theatre in different hospitals, a logistical nightmare for visitors but I tried to be a grown-up and pulled my big girl pants up! However, I soon crumbled when I woke up in recovery and the surgeon informed me the operation was unsuccessful. I got back to the ward and wondered if I had dreamt about the visit from the surgeon. After all, I was high on Tramadol, so it was possible, although as it happens, it turned out to be true. I cried and cried and cried. I just couldn’t stop. It had all now become too much, and I needed my hubby, but he was too busy getting his teeth removed 20 miles away! What an awful day that was! Not to worry, first on the scene with hugs and kind words, my line manager! Remember how I was high on Tramadol? Well, she walked through the door and I got my boobs out! I have no words…. although I guess neither did she!
Next surgery was the insertion of hubby’s PEG feeding tube. He didn’t like this at all, but it was essential to allow him to maintain calorific intake throughout and after treatment. Shortly after, he had his mask fitting. This was the 1st time he had a major wobble. The process had to be abandoned and we went back a few days later. We called upon the friends we had made on the MacMillan Community Forum and they were wonderful as always. They suggested requesting eye holes and that made a huge difference. This pic is the real thing, the actual mask!
We then embarked on our radiotherapy treatment. Hubby required 30 sessions of radio and 6 chemo whilst I needed 15 radio. We kept a chart, made for us by a work colleague, and took delight in ticking each day off. It was very gruelling and included weekends, but we got our heads down and kept the finish line in sight. We had our treatment in the same unit and the chemo day unit was such a lovely, friendly place. It was like a social occasion but without the wine! We didn’t ring the bell when we finished treatment (within a day of each other) as things just got a bit much and we needed to rest and regroup.
Now
Hubby had his feeding tube removed and can eat many things. We both enjoy life and even went back to Corfu in September 2020 to meet the couple we met when we were there in 2019. It was quite emotional. We don’t know what the future will bring but we are positively getting on with life, well as much as we can in these Covid times! We made good friends on the MacMillan Forum and continue to speak to them most days. When I joined the forum with the boring username, Drivermason (hubby was a driver with surname Mason), it had been my intention to set up 2 accounts with me in the breast group and hubby in the Head and Neck (H&N) group. That didn’t really happen and bit by bit I decamped fully to the H&N group where I found RadioactiveRaz and Beesuit aka Hazel and Dani. If anyone would like to know more about H&N cancer these 2 great people have written blogs which they continue to update.
www.todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com
www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com
I now try to help others in similar situations, and I helped set up the Department for Education’s Working Through Cancer Network in 2020 alongside others.
My advice to everyone is, if something doesn’t feel or look right, please get it checked out!
