So here I am, chemo done, radiotherapy due Nov/Dec, Herceptin only for a while and oncologist talking in preventative measures and we think surgery got it all terms. so i should be ecstatic! except that i am only now thinking 'oh my goodness I had cancer, me, cancer' it is starting to play on my mind.
when i saw my GP for a fit to work at my pace note back in March she said she would be happy to sign me right off because of the enormity of my condition and treatment. i laughed inside and said it was ok i'd dealt with that already.
I dont think i have and its sh**, cancer has already stolen my breast, my lymph nodes, plus my strength and my health through chemo and now its in my mind playing the 'what if...' games.
when i read some of the posts on here my heart bleeds but i also feel such a disconnect because people are suffering and dying and i am surviving, but hadnt really thought the cancer word connected to me and now i feel frozen. scared to go forward, resisting the truth (esp as i dont know what that is) and not knowing what to say when people ask. it was easy when something hurt but when you are just shakey with the unknown its harder.
anyway - just saying :)
