My mum was taken into the hospice today. The Macmillan Nurse suggested this as a way of getting her pain under control which has increased more and more just this week and she has really deteriorated in just the last few days. Her morphone was increased and she was also put on liquid morphine too and since then has been hallucinating and really not been with us at all.
The hospice seems like a lovely place and the people/nurses are great but so didn't want to leave her there. This might sound ridiculous but I'm just so scared that this is it, that she won't be coming home anymore. Feeling so many different emotions at the moment and just don't know what to do with myself.
FormerMember
You poor sweetheart, you must be so scared - who wouldn't be? As the MacMillan Nurse suggested this option as a way of controlling your Mum's pain, then that's what it must be for. You say that the hospice is a lovely place, so surely no one mind if you asked to speak to a doctor regarding your Mum's health and what their treatment plan for her was? It's just that you are riding such an emotional rollercoaster at the moment, that it makes sense to have your mind put at rest, then you won't feel so anxious. I know the hospice near where I live is wonderful in that way, and if a member of a patients family wish to ask questions of the medical professionals, they are only too happy to oblige. Try to do it as soon as you can sweetheart, otherwise you are going to make yourself ill by worrying, ok? Let us know how you get along, with lots of love kate xxxxxxx
Hey Bubbles I understand your concerns...it does seem weird leaving a loved one in a hospice but as you say they are very nice places. Often to get the pain under control large doses are used and then they can cut back to a dose where the pain is dampened but the patient is able to function and talk rationally - if your Mums pain has been this bad it sounds as though she is in the right place at present. Lots of people do go in for pain control and then come out again - it doesnt mean that your Mum wont come out again - but I understand untill she does that you will be worrying. I don't know how I can stop you worrying really but she will be well looked after 24hours a day. Perhaps you can take some time to catch your breath and relax in the knowledge that she is safe? Maybe do some things for you to boost you up until she does come out again? (manicure/ chick flick / meal out/ coffee with friends??) Doing things for you doesnt mean you love your Mum any less. I hope she is ok and I hope you keep us up to date on her progress. Love and hugs Jools xxxx
My mum went into hospital on 10th Nov and then transferred to the hospice on 20th Nov for 'symptom assessment and control' - which is what it seems is happening to your lovely mum too. I like you felt terrible leaving her there, but I know in my heart that she had the best possible care and that tiny little bit of dignity she had at the end was maintained by those lovely wingless angels doing everything for her (washing her, helping her go to the toilet, giving her medicines) - so that when I went in to sit with her or take her outside in her wheelchair for a walk, she felt okay. We have to remember that our mums probably wouldn't want us to suffer in caring for them - to have to mop up things and wash them - it's sometimes worse than the pain they feel from being ill....I consoled myself with the fact that in the hospice, we spent quality time together - no more changing wet sheets and lifting her on and off of her commode, but nice walks and doing the crossword together, or me giving her a lovely soothing manicure....all memories that now she's gone I really treasure.
I was fortunate enough to be able to bring my mum home for the final five days of her life and she died here at home with me and my husband holding her hands, after all the only treatment she really needed at this stage was pain relief and that was managed at home. Wherever your mum is, she will be safe and warm and she will know from the care you've given her in recent times how much you love her. Keep talking to her because no matter how confused she seemed, my mum managed to understand almost everything I said to her right up to the time she passed away - and I know this because I was thanking her for being such a wonderful mum and a single tear fell down her cheek - it was an amazing moment.
I will be thinking of you during this very difficult time and I hope that you take the time you need to look after yourself, this will enable you to be 100% for your mum when you're with her.
Be strong and remember, we're here if you need us xxx
I've been in your position with my much loved Auntie Gwen, 3 years ago. I just cried reading your posting, and the replies. The hospice near us is fantastic, I cannot praise it, and the wonderful staff of course, enough. I'm sure your mum is having the best care available..I'll be thinking of you both xx
I have just read your blog and am hoping that your mum is now more comfortable. Hospice staff are amazing and will do their utmost to make your mum and the family more at ease.
