So we eventually got to meet the Oncologist last night. We had already decided to move to radiotherapy for the next step .... So after a full overview of what to expect and the steps in the process we ended the meeting with me expecting a call today to arrange the mask fitting for early next week. The oncologist is not working next week .... In his own words he 'is the bottle neck'. The call was due to come from someone else in the team. The call didn't come and he is now on holiday. My faith in this process is very low based on the previous failed attempts at meeting.
So, what to do?? Why is the consuming my every thought, despite two lovely bunches of flowers from my husband and a hand arranged heart shaped dessert from my six year old daughter. I can only think that it is because I feel as though I have so little control. We are following a private pathway and yet it seems nothing is progressing! I got the impression that because my cancer is typically 'non-aggressive' (despite very little being known about it) I am not a priority to get the radiotherapy plan initiated. Aaaargh what to do.
So I have the weekend ahead of me and no means of contacting anyone so it will undoubtedly lead to more sleepless nights. I feel like tearing out my hair and shouting ..... But this isn't a great response for my daughter to see. Why can an oncologist not empathise with a diagnosis of cancer? Why when I talked about sleepless nights due to worry was his first reaction 'oh what was worrying you, this meeting?' !!!!!! ER NO HOW ANOIT BEING TOLD YOU HAVE CANCER!!
There I have shouted via my blog!!! I have kept expletives out so maybe it won't help calm me ..... I might be back later!
