Day 15 post diagnosis and some action!

Feels like months ago I was diagnosed, this last 2 weeks has been the worst and weirdest of my life. We went to center parcs for 4 nights with my sister in law and her family, my girls had a fantastic time and there were moments where I forgot I had cancer but then it would hit me in the most emotional way ever like getting an impromptu kiss from one of my daughters or seeing my husband laughing and it hurts so much at my lovely little family is going through this. I get the most awful feeling of guilt that this is happening to them all, I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. We had so many plans in the next 6 months and it'll all have to be put back :( My daughters don't know anything yet, I plan to tell them something before my operation but I still don't really know what! At the weekend I was getting really anxious that I still had no MRI appointment and that my nurse had called saying my mammogram showed 'something suspicious' and they needed to do a core biopsy in mammography but that appt wasn't until Friday 13th and results would take a week!!!!! I phoned one of the consultant secretaries and got myself in a state, she managed to get my MRI appointment for this morning and then I phoned mammography who managed to change my Friday appt to today also, perfect! Apparently MRI were waiting on my cycle details despite me telling my specialist nurse that due to PCOS and the Mirena coil I have NO cycle!!! Today... The MRI went fine, I was a bit anxious about feeling claustrophobic but I was ok. The core biopsy was eventful. They got me positioned and managed to get 4 or 5 samples then I felt the room spin, went all hot and my breathing went to pot... Next thing I'm flat on my back with my legs up (and left boob hanging out!!) Quickly got over that then back in position for the second area, local anaesthetic in, incision made and arghhh I'm off again and quickly removed from the machine. My bp went to 70/65, the registrar in the room was freaking out and couldn't get a drip in me as my veins were collapsed. He finally managed and I began to feel loads better. They decided that they had enough biopsy samples and that I didn't need to go through any more. The nurse that was also with me had told me the 'something suspicious' was most likely micro calcification. The MDT meeting at my hospital is on Wednesday's so I am really hoping my results are ready for me to be discussed a week today then my consultant gives results and treatment plans on a Monday... 23rd for me I hope! My family and friends have been amazing, everyone is making such an effort and it's lovely, I saw some of my oldest friends today and I'm seeing my friends with kids tomorrow. My Mum is on total stand by for me, she's amazing, done so much already and I've barely started the journey! My lovely Dad has been great too, calling in after his work and texting me loads, breaks my heart for them to have to see their 'little girl' go through this :( on the day I was diagnosed I had never seen my Dad look so numb and utterly gutted not even when he lost his parents. Can't wait for our celebrations once this is all over! My lovely brother who lives in holland is coming home tomorrow evening for a week and I can't wait to give him a great big squeeze! It's my eldests 5th birthday on monday so he'll be here for that top which will be extra special. Away to bed soon, really tired after today's events! Xx