I had grade 3 breast ca in 2007, left mastectomy,axillary clearance and big fight for life after 3 infections, so no chemo, just radio and herceptin. Asked for DIEP recon. last year and told 3 month waiting list. Well, one year on I have just been cancelled for a third time! Its so frustrating as I know this op is a biggy and I am trying to keep as well as poss. My husband doesn't want me to have it as he says I look okay to him and he doesn't see what I see - exactly! I am 52 and feel like a freak, hate my insert, hate my bra, and always cover up with lots of scarves when I go out. My confidence is rock bottom and our sex life stopped soon after mastectomy. I want to feel like I look remotely like a woman again and hope it will hep me to feel feminine to be able to buy bras and wear nicer clothes. So, here we are, my husband and I arguing over my 'selfishness and vanity' which is what he calls it and added to this shambles a third cancellation by Broomfield Hospital. My new, hopeful, date is now 3rd May (my wedding anniversary (26 yrs) so that will go down like a lead balloon with my husband who is having kittens because he is afraid I won't be fit enough for 8 hours of surgery. I want this op for me and if that means I am selfish, so be it. I'm not over the hill yet and I still want to look like a woman. I am so frustrated right now at this cancellation and a telephone call to rant didn't give me peace. Anyway, I wonder if any ladies have had to wait like this too for their delayed recon. and I sincerely hope they are happy with the outcome - I shall whack my husband over the head with my jelly insert when I am put back together again but am holding back until I actually get a real date I can rely on. Oh well, rant over, lets get cleaning! Love to all, Ann
