Well it's March the 2nd,
we've had Christmas and I've had my birthday back in January and I've
got to say I've never felt better. I had a great Christmas with my
family, I managed to get out of the Hospital Christmas Eve, although I
had to go back Boxing Day morning for a quick check-up I got to spend
the majority with my family. Unfortunately,
having the herpes simplex meant I couldn't be around my new-born baby
niece which meant my sister and her family couldn't come round for
Christmas which was a shame. Still thanks to the anti-virals (a short course of IV Ganciclovir through my new pic line and some Valganciclovir tablets) it cleared up relatively quickly.
After
that my eczema flared up again but thanks to the Doctors down in
dermatology it's looking pretty good now, if a bit dry. It took a lot
of steroid ointments (Emovate, Betnovate, Hydrocortisone and something called Calmurid)
but its finally starting to clear up. I did end up shaving my head
again so I could apply the ointment properly to my scalp (my scalp was
so dry and flakey
I could literally just pull me hair out). It was a bit gutting to have
to get all my hair off again but in fairness it grows pretty quick and
it's only going to come back stronger.
My birthday was brilliant
I got pretty much spoiled rotten, again. My girlfriend booked us a trip
to London for the following weekend to go and stay in a hotel and see
my favourite play 'Woman in Black'. Plus we went to Madame Tussaud's and the London Dungeons:
We
had a brilliant time, in fact we've just started keeping a scrapbook of
our trips and adventures, long may they continue! So after Christmas
and my Birthday I'd made off with a Race Track Day experience, an
electric drum kit, a trip to Padstow and an iPhone... not a bad haul eh?
So
it's safe to say that I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, not too
tired, but sleeping well. I'm working out at the gym every week to try
and get my strength back, just started swimming there as well now my
skin's nearly sorted itself out. It's hilarious how weak I am compared
to before I went in to Hospital. I mean I was never Mariusz Pudzianowski
but now I'm struggling to bench like 30k . Plus jogging gets pretty
arduous pretty quickly, especially when there are people three times my
age in that gym going at it like Paula Radcliffe. Still I'm getting
there at least.
To be honest I would like to work out a lot more
but University work is keeping me pretty busy as well. I have weekly
programming assignments that are pretty tough, plus I've been working
on a group assignment to make a 2 minute video clip (yes that was as
specific as the brief got..). Still we're pretty proud of it, check it
out:
A Brief History of Music and Dance
Least
that's out of the way now, that just leaves weekly assignments and, of
course, my dissertation. 15,000 words feels pretty impossible right now
(given I'm at the 3,500 mark) but I'm confident it will get done. For
my dissertation (actually we call it Computing Project in our faculty)
I'm making a sort of Physiotherapy Manager for kids with Cystic
Fibrosis. It's kind of a WiiFit game for kids.
In
terms of Hospital visits I'm only going in once every 4 weeks now to
see my Oncologist, Professor Marks. Nobody really told me to stop
coming in weekly but they never do tell you anything really, I just
started to get the impressions from my Doctor's that they didn't want
to see me as much! Especially when they told me to go to my GP for
medications. So that's all good news, especially since in August I'll
be moving to Exeter
with my girlfriend. She got a place at the University there to study as
a primary school teacher. Honestly not sure yet what I'm doing to do
down there... to be honest I just feel like kicking back and relaxing a
while! But I think a post-graduate degree or a graduate job is probably
the most likely thing.
Today is in fact my girlfriend's birthday
so while she's at work I'm going to be running around getting
ingredients to bake her a Victoria Sponge (disaster will no doubt ensue
and I'll have to call my nan for advice) and to cook her a meal later
on. I would mention what presents I got her but I don't want her
reading this before I give them her! I'm just hoping it will make up
for the fact she spent her last birthday in hospital with me.
So
what's left to say? Well I'm looking at volunteering work for the Teen
Cancer Trust. I thought about other charities like Leukaemia Care but I
think, given my age, I'd be able to help kids around my age a lot
better. Plus I'm also looking to try and get this blog published in
some form or another, looking back at some of the older posts I'd
forgotten how much technical detail I used to go in to about drugs and
conditions so I think it could be a really useful document to somebody
my age suffering from the same thing.
A lot of people on the MacMillan
website talk about a 'cloud' over their head after they have had all
their treatment, as though the threat of relapse is always present in
their minds. I found a lot of figures to suggest the majority of people
my age who suffer from ALL go on to live a disease-free life, but I
won't deny the thought it (or another type of cancer) coming back has
crossed my mind. I guess I've kind of prepared myself for that
possibility as much as I can, especially since all the Doctor's have
told me flat out that it could happen. It sounds ridiculous but what is
the use in worrying about it? Even if it should happen I know I'm in
the best possible hands I could be and I've got the best network of
friends and family I could possibly hope for to support me. It's not
going to change the way I live my life.
This whole process (I can't bring myself to use the word 'journey'...)
has been pretty incredible. There's nothing I can really say to sum up
the emotions I and people around me have been through or the kind of
perspective that something like this gives you. To be honest I've tried
and failed to sum up what I think I've gained from this whole thing a
few times now, but I guess its just that feeling of incredible
accomplishment to know you got through all that! I mean realistically
okay it was the Doctor's and nurses that did all the hard work, I just
had to show up and put up with the effects! But still the fact you can
go through all that and come out the other side with a better
understanding of what you want to do with your life and how you want to
be as a person, that's something you keep forever.
Still this wasn't just my accomplishment, I couldn't have done it
without the support of everyone around me. Everyone who looked after me
at home, replied to my blog, sat with me in the day area, visited me in
isolation or smuggled me good food in to the Hospital! Thanks.
