Tough to know where to start, it's been a hell of a week.
It's been a week of sleep deprivation, tears, anxiety and mood swings but the steroids are coming down and down now, I'm getting close to being off them though but they do build up in your system so it'l take a while for them to flush out even when I'm off them entirely.
Physically everythings going really well, I'm eating well, exercising (a little too much yesterday, my legs ached like a bitch last night!). I haven't needed any top ups on blood or potassium or anything at the hospital so my body seems to be taking care of itself by the looks of things and the Docs are all happy.
My medications come down quite a lot, I'm not on the Ganciclivir right now so I dont have to hook myself up to that machine at 8am and 8pm everyday, thats been brilliant, all I gotta do is take pills three times and day, not even a massive amount.
I've kicked those crappy sleeping pills now and I'm getting decent amounts of sleep on my own, still not quite enough maybe, but that'l come in time.
As for my head, I'm still finding it quite difficult to concentrate but it's getting better with more sleep. I'm still getting very anxious and worried over next to nothing, I really just need to relax. Literally anything starts to make me get a bit anxious, what to have for breakfast, what to put on tv, what video game to play, when to go home and visit my family, whether I'm annoying my girlfriend or being an idiot to her. The Doctor did give me some diazapam to take the edge off it when it was really bad a few days ago but I haven't been taking it the last few days, just deep breathing and talking to people instead. There's a lot of hours in the day and it can make you feel a bit down when you're not really allowed out of the house. I don't know if I'm 'depressed', I imagine its all just the steroids on-top of everything I've been through so far, they mentioned putting me on antidepressants when things were real bad a few days again but I don't know... I might feel a lot different once the steroids are all gone, but if they help and their safe, we'll see.
I'm off in to hospital today for a while, I'm not taking this one pill any more which means that I have to go in once every three weeks to inhale this gas. I've had it once before, it's pretty horrible but it doesn't last too long. My girlfriends taking me in so if I start getting anxious she'll be there to help me calm down, not that there's anything to worry about!
Ahhhhh it felt good to get all that out!
