Day +69: Toughest times I've had, and they're not over yet

The last few days the steroids have just been wrecking me, I've been trying to survive off a couple of hours sleep a night and it's just been turning my brain to jelly, which has been making me worry about absolutely everything. Eventually today it came to a head, I just started screaming and shouting, I couldn't calm myself down so we went straight to hospital and the Doctor's put me on some dopamine to keep things in perspective and keep me calm. It was meant to help me sleep tonight and I've had a few hours but it's 3am now so I think they're going to have to up the dose tomorrow. It's hard to say what I'm worried about, pretty much everything, but if they keep the edge off with this valium, or dopamine or whatever they decide to give me I'm hoping it'l keep me going until the steroids come down and I can start sleeping properly again. A big source of stress is the routine I have to keep every day: 7am to 8:30am - Hook myself up to a machine at home, using hyperdermic needles, saline solutions and have this anti-virus drug. It's called Ganciclovir and it's a twice a day thing so, 7am and 7pm. 8am - Have all my morning pills: intraconazole, steroids, cyclosporin, MMF, potassium, magnesium, penicilin v, septrin. 2pm - Afternoon pills: potassium, magnesium, omeperzole. 7pm to 8:30pm - Again hook myself up to the machine again. It can only get better from here right :) My family have been great, they're here 24/7, I just cant cook, or clean, or look after myself, everything I do is a massive amount of effort, just replying to text messages from friends or on facebook really taxes my brain after everything.