Well the last 4-5 days have been a bit rough, my throat got so sore I had to get on the morphine which really helped with the pain, still being hooked up to the drip literally 24/7 is a pain in the ass. Plus the stuff made me wretch quite a lot to start with which, considering I wasn't eating anything was uncomfortable. Still it was a bit of a relief for the Doctor's to come round and say "This is the worst of it now" rather than, "You'll feel worse tomorrow".
In the last few days however I've been feeling a lot better, my mouth never got sore but it did start getting full of mucus and feeling really dry, it was good to get on the morphine rather than waiting for painkiller pills every 3 hours. Plus now they put all my oral meds down the NG tube so I don't have to swallow any pills, something that was starting to get difficult.
I've got in to the schedule in isolation now so the days are going by pretty quickly, definately glad I have my laptop with me. I think the most frustrating thing really is how much effort it takes to do even the simplest of things. To get up and do anything I've got to unplug all of the pumps I'm connected to, drag that around with me in a pretty small room. Still I'm pretty used to it now.
I woke up this morning and my throat felt a lot better than it did yesterday, hardly any pain at all. I'm still not eating a great deal but with the overnight feeds still going on thats not too much of a problem.
So hopefully it'l only be another week or so and I'll be out and back home. There is something that's bothering me though, I feel like I've lost some of that sense of urgency about the whole thing, like I've become a little to laid back when really there's still a long way to go and a lot of stuff that could happen. I've had so many big plans that I want to realise when I'm better, I don't want to get lazy and have them fall by the wayside. I don't want to just live off the benefits I get and lose that ambition to achieve the things I want to, I feel so out of touch with my work and I've no idea how I'm going to start getting fit again. I've really got to keep focused and make sure I don't let this slip, I know it sounds a bit wanky but when you're given a real appreciation of how important it is to live your life you don't want to lose that.
FormerMember
Hi Will, oh I really can understand how you feel having seen and heard my brother go through the same. Suffice to say once he was at home life picked up and he was back at work and into the swing of things in no time. He saw it as a temporary blip .... and yes the laptop was a god send foir him too! Actually, once home he spent a while catching jup on stuff he had not done when he felt poorly, but did not realise how poorly if that makes sense. Uni will still be there and you can catch up when you are ready, an unscheduled Gap Year perhaps, not as exciting perhaps as a Gap Year should be, but different and actually very character building - now that does sound crass. I think it is FA B you have maintained a blog, it will help many other people to know what they fae, especially as you have not shied away from the truth, that is what folk want to hear and often the nitty gritty bits are the bits the medical omit. It is also good to know the challenges you face, it is always better to know what you are up against and if you thnk back you have always wanted to know what was ahead .... and faced up to it, and faced it well. You are a remarkable young man and I really really wish you well.
