General statement/rant to anyone reading.

Going through the hell journey you are going through you certainly see the best and absolute worst of human behaviour. Help usually comes from some random stranger and those who you would think understand either back off or turn on you. Your post really stood out to me because it's honest and raw. Also because i take solace in music and lyrics, broken hands by lamb of god was a comfort recently and also No Love by eminem. Keep finding solace in music and technology and enjoy small simple pleasures. Fu*k these people you are mentioning, they are not worth your time :) Emily

Hi there i agree What is wrong with people?Why do some people lie to your face and say they will stand by you and be there i to wished a lot of these people got cancer and not me have only cared and been good to them and get kicked in the teeth and were are these so called good friends now i looked after one good friend years ago and helped him of heroin twice and he looked great a few weeks ago he was doing my garden i shouted him to say i had done him some tea and he had gone tried to ring him for days he ignored me then one day he answered you no what he said hes not well and cannot deal with me and i dont understand am goin through hell and back and never moaned just kept everything going no wonder i dont feel good about myself so sorry for going on but yes it makes you turn and think what is there problem am goin out i think this weekend for a change and going to try to keep smileing and singing you take care

Hi mate, sounds like you are going thru' the mill somewhat. I have been a site member for 3 years but have had to delete all my account aqnd blogs due to certain info getting into the wrong hands. I now show up as a new member. You seem to be very angry towards certain people, a state which I enter into quite regularly. I also read that you battle with depression, another thing we have in common. You are into photography as well, black and white in particular, thats something else we both share. I find that most peoples understanding of me and my life are millions of miles away from my perspective and it used to make me angry just like you. I was diagnosed with lung cancer over 3 years ago and based on the initial findings, had little or no chance of survival. However, the surgeon had a go and increased my chances somewhat, hence I am still alive and kicking. What I am saying is you cant expect people to understand what you are going thru'. They never will, unless they themselves get this bloody disease. Even my own family make me feel like screaming at times, they think I should be cheerfull and 'normal'. How the hell can we be cheerfull and normal all the time ??? I manage it MOST of the time but slip into black periods now and again. I can accept this, why not others ?? They never ever will. Dont be too critical of people, dont let yourself be angry. Save your anger, hatred AND energies for fighting cancer. On top of the lung cancer I got rheumatoid arthritis as well, very painfull and permanent and take steroids for it. Guess what the steroids cause ?? Depression, anger and agression. GOODY GOODY, just what I need. They can also cause insanity as well, but I can live with that. Ha Ha !! I reckon its best just to distance yourself from the folk who piss you off and enjoy what life you have. Thats why I started taking photographs, it distracts me and takes me to another world, MY world. Good luck with the competitions, I 'aint anywhere near good enough for that, and at my age I dont think I've got enough years left to learn everything I would like to learn. Take care my friend, Billy Bee.