Mum not doing so good

1 minute read time.

Eurgh, how crap do i feel (probably not as crap as my mum) For about two weeks now my mum has been ill, which i fear has set her back and shorted her 'months to live' to only a few now. About two weeks ago now i would have said that she would have seen her next birthday which is in May, now i'd say christmas is a stretch now.  Dr's are thinking infection - but personally i think the cancer has spread to her bowels (she has secondary breast cancer in her stomach) i just hate seeing her getting worse in front of my eyes, and being so helpless. 

Another thing is that mum thinks i'm cross with her which then sent me off on a wobble (whilst at work) - how can you make someone understand that you're not cross with them its just you're frustrated with the whole situation and not being able to live your own life and watching the person you love fade in front of your eyes.

I'm trying to keep my head up but sometimes you wonder what on earth is the point - nothing is good at the moment and nothing is right

Sorry for this being so down beat and miserable, but just getting across how i feel

x

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    HiBeth, Sorry to hear your mum is so poorly. This is so hard for you trying to work and worry about your mum. I dont know what medication she is on but when my husband was ill the drugs made him quite confused and he could get odd ideas but it was the drugs. it helped a bit to know this but it was still hard not to take stuff personally and very frustrating not to be able to make him understand. All I could do was keep tellinghim I loved him and try to take time out while i calmed down. I dont know if you live with your mum or who is caring for her but you must try to find outlets for your feelings of frustration away from your mum ( i used to sit in the car with very loud music on till i had calmed down) then you can stay more calm and keep telling her of your love or finding ways to remember the good times like going through photographs. Maybe your mum has more time yet with you, i hope so, But one thing i learnt from losing Ed was dont waste a minute of whatever time you have other than to be happy together. There will be time for grief and sadness later. The point is you love your mum, she loves you and you will always be a part of one another but there is still time for more happiness, dont waste it. You are strong to have got this far so you can keep going. take care of yourself, love leisha xxxx ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Beth,

    Dont try and predict when your Mums time is up

    even the Drs cant do that. You are putting alot of pressure on youself.I know its not easy watching your Mum lying in a Hospital Bed. But what if the Drs right and it is an infection. It happened to me once and I ended up running around with a nasal gastric tube up my nose for 6 months. Mind you it was a very bad infection. But it eventually healed I was 2 stone thinner. But its now back on.

    You take care and Look after yourself. Hope all goes well with your Mum. You put your feet up and have some me time.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Beth

    Wish I could say something that didn't sound trite.....My dad was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer in August.He's having chemo keep him"comfortable" for as long as possible.

    I,too,am finding it difficult to carry on as normal.Work is a minefield;some days I can forget about it all for awhile but others are a constant battle to hold back tears.My poor colleagues!

    I think that it's losing control that's hardest for me;I have no way of knowing what will happen or when.It's feels like life is on hold;I'm afraid to make plans for the future because I don't know what it holds.

    Having said all that;Leisha is right.We still have our parents with us......as hard as it is we still some time left.

    Take care of yourself

    Sending you big hugs((((()))))

    Nikki xx