Mum is now in hospital - she's been in since Tuesday evening....she had deteriorated very quickly and is now struggling to breathe - they are trying to make her as comfortable as possible - but its just so hard watching her.
I know in my last post i said about the suffering and i wish it would end - well now i mean it even more - i wish and hope she feels ready to go. I always say i'm ready for it to happen but everytime something else happens and get a phone call saying mum has got worse i wobble....i know its understanding to do that and selfishly i don't want her to go but in another way i do want her to go so she can at last be at peace.
I have got some family around me at the moment that are quite pushy which aren't making things easy - but luckily they are going tomorrow evening so its just one more day till i can get on with things in my own way and deal with things my way rather than ahving to think about others around me.
Mum is now very likely not to come home, which is also very lonely, knowing that mum will never see the house again - which judging by the state its in at the moment isn't necessarily a bad thing lol but still its little old me rattling around with the cat, who obviously knows something is up.
I'm off to see mum in a bit, wish i could be there a lot more but due to stupid parking restrictions around the hospital its not possible - unless i want a permanent parking ticket lol
I just thought for those that do read my blogs that you would like to know whats going on
Beth xx
