after reading some of the blogs which other people have posted and some are the same or very near the same as what i have been diagnosed with it makes me wonder why they say "you need this that and the other" they also say what you have is "not aggressive" some of the things they have said to me make no sense at all, if i needed therapy / treatment to an aggressive form of cancer then i would be having it, but the time it has taken from me going in to have my lump checked to having it removed and then having more tests / scans to be told they cant find the primary sight.
it makes me laugh at the comments they come out with i am an easy going fellow and take things with a pinch of salt i tend to laugh at things that have happened to me over the past few yearsm i have epilepsy and type 2 diabetes, both which i can control but this disease seems to be uncontrollable by anyone i get told by the consultant that i will be having my treatment starting in middle of December 2010, it is now middle of dec (very nearly) and i have only just had my left tonsil out, if the lump they removed told them i had cancer and they are unsure of where it has come from why not take both of em out, but we seem to trust theses guys who are playing with our lives, although they say its a non agressive type of cancer i have why dont they tell me what type i have ??
Do they actually know themselves, i sit here looking out over a frost ladened Lincoln thinking of Christmas with my family and if im going to be here next christmas with my family enjoying it, after reading a few blogs on here i'm not so sure as to if i will be here next year.
To this end i have written to my pension holders asking about critical illness and the possibility of cashing in my pension if i am told i only have a certain time to live, they returned my email and sent me a claim form but i can only cash in 2/3s of it with the other 1/3 going to my partner for her to spend when i go which doesnt bother me she can have it all as far as im concerned, so have just been in touch with my ex wifes solicitor and told her that my ex wife would not not be recieving any portion of my pension either as if i am able to i will cash it in.
Anyway how do i go about getting my consultant to give me a time i have left to live, i know my gf dont want me to talk like that and says i will out live everyone i hope i do!!!!!!!!!!!!......... so why dont the consultants tell you just what type you have and how long you have had it????? questions and answers on a post card to Blue Peter LOL
Just wish that there would be a level playing field for people with or having just been diagnosed with this disease which has no age limit any level on wealthy or poverty it just hits when you least expect it...... it hits everyone when ever and however it likes the consultants vary in how they tell you some are good some are bad they whole diagnose thing i my mind needs to be looked at if the consultant thinks someone has cancer then they should act on it with the same conviction for everyone i dont know what non aggressive means i do in life but not in cancer if its not life treatening then why all these tests and such
am very much on a downer at the moment whether its the weather or me being back at work enabling me to think more i dont have a clue, everytime i seem to go into the clinic to see the consultant the same faces are there the ones who arent have they expired and the consultant has it wrong??????
Biggles13
