Hello everyone, quick update, my mum got diagnosed with lung cancer in April this year. It is a different type of lung cancer as it has dispersed all over her lung and into the other therefore they can not operate. She was given 12 months with treatment. Mum had 4 courses of really strong chemo which made her so ill and it was a really hard time. The chemo did stop the cancer from growing and strunk it slightly, we got told it would never totally go away, she would always have it.
I feel like I need to offload on here because I don't have anyone to talk to. I cant speak to my mum because I dont want to worry her more than she already is. Things have been ok for a couple of months, everytime we have gone back for more x-rays they have shown that everything has stayed the same. Things changed yesterday when we went to the hospital, it has started to grow again!
I cant believe it, I feel like I have been smacked in the face again. If predictions of life expectancy were correct she only has 4 months left and it really scares me. She keeps saying she is a fighter and is going no where but I know she is just putting a front on for me. I have a little boy who is 2 and a half and she worships him, she sees him every day and I know he is helping to keep her going. My baby is due in 3 months, I brought the pregnancy forward as I wanted my mum to see my next child and I wanted to give her something else to live for. I just hope she will be around long enough to enjoy the baby.
I feel like my heart is breaking, I know is sounds dramatic but I am aching so much inside. I spend everyday with my mum since I got made redundant in August, as much as I love it I know it is only going to make things harder when she goes. I feel like I should distance myself from her so that it wont be so hard but then I feel guilty for feeling like that! Im so confused!
Sorry for boring you, I just had to get it off my chest! x
