Help! what,when,how to talk to a spouse who is notgoing to recover from advanced cancer?
Less than one minute read time.
FormerMember
Can anybody help or advise me?My husband of 40+ years has terminal cancer and our daughter is so angry with me as she says I am not being up front with him about the fact that he isn't going to recover!I am caring for him at home with some much appreciated help from various sources(not from our McMillan nurse!)I am in a wheelchair so at times it is very difficult but I love Tony(my husband)so much that I am prepared to do all in my power to help him.He was put on a syringe driver on Saturday which is helping his pain but he is so sleepy so trying to have a 'talk' is so difficult but I wouldn't want to do anything wrong on his final journey!At times he says about getting another car later this year,next he says he won't be driving again!I am sure he knows he is not going to recover and is just trying to spare us as we are trying to keep'up' for him!I'm so confused about everything.Anyone out there who can help?
FormerMember
Hi everyone,just to let you know my husband died on 1st June at 2.40pm.Unfortunately he didn't go in the way I had expected as the nurses would not believe me when I told them he was in pain so it was a blessing when he eventually gave up his fight for life.I feel so guilty though and wished I'd barricaded the drs in until they had given him pain relief!At least he's not in any pain now but I miss him so much. Barbara
Hi Barbara, I am so very sorry to hear your news,I do know what you are going through,please dont feel guilty, you did everything you could and I am sure Tony knew this,just try and think that Tony ,like Brian, is now at peace with no more suffering.
It is 4 months today since Brian died and I cant say it is any easier,I still cry a lot but there are days when I am ok ish, it is the loneliness that is the hardest, I do try and go out most days just to see people and to get away from the quiet house for a while, People are kind and my family are good but I think only another widow can understand what we are going through,I do wish you well and I hope you keep in touch, I would like to know how you are.
