well today has been horrible. cant stop crying being very negative. sat here looking at photos of kids, weddings .and lots of happy memories. then reality creeps in and you think will this be the last time. cant get my head round the start of the year, making plans for holdays improvements to house and then everything goes pear shaped. iam half way through the chemo and dont know whether its working or not. i just want some normality back into my life to be able to say yes to peoples invatasions twelve months down the line.i miss not being able to go to work and meeting diffrent people on a daily basis. i feel my independence has been taken from me all because of this awfull thing growing inside me.i look at my husband whom i love to bits and couldnt bear the thought of him with someone else. i know thats a very selfish attitude as if anything did happen he is only young to be on his own. this horrible black cloud if only would go away. iam feeling very lonely and need to get this off my chest my life doesnt feel like my own anymore. thanks for listening hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
FormerMember
I do hope you are feeling a lot better babscatt!!!
I read this self improvement book a very long time ago, needing a lot of self improvement. (some things never change!) One of the things it said was to switch off work at the end of the day. I did that.
Another thing was to kill the alternatives. Applied to suggestions, it meant not to let what might have been rule one. To make the decision or accept the state we are in and not let any of our alternatives distract us from our course of action.
For example: Booking a holiday is one thing, wishing that the holiday one had to cancel had gone ahead is only going to make one miserable. You have decided to go to the meet in Leicester. Have fun and enjoy yourself. You could go to the hospital and talk to other patients if you are feeling lonely. I'm sure they would enjoy your delightful conversation, or go to the park and get a good soaking, but talk to people there and enjoy their company. If nothing else, you will learn a lot about dogs.
I am sorry I am talking tough. If it is any comfort, I do it to myself because if I didn't, I would feel far worse.
Tomorrow will be a lovely day. You will be back to normal and feeling much better.
hiya sorry I seem to have missed your blog until today! I hope that you are feelinga bit better by now. Only 1 day till the Fiesta - whooohoooooo! The weather forecast is good and we will be there to spend a fun time with you and hubby. Looking forward to meeting you! Jools x x x
