Yesterday I went with my Civil Partner so that she could talk with the Oncologist about possible ways forward. There was an underlying assumption that she would want chemotherapy and even that she would want to join a trial. She was very distressed by this rather aggressive attitude and finally decided to postpone a decision for another six weeks. She has been told that she has less than a year and six months of that could be spent in chemo. At the moment that looks like a really dud choice.....we are not convinced. Any help?
FormerMember
For me chemo was a no brainer, they told me radical surgery and 6 weeks radiation and at the last minute they decided to add chemo. I chatted with my MDT and they informed me it would enhance my chances by a further 6% so I of course said yes. Every cancer is different and behaves differently in everybody, no rules to this shit. So whilst our oncomen and women would like to spell things out for us, they just cannot as they really do not know. They work with statistics and previous patients etc and how successful a drug can be. But these are not absolutes. I personally would have done anything and taken anything when I was diagnosed, if it could possibly help my situation and the terror I felt. I was fortunate to be under one of the best cancer hospitals we have in the UK and trusted my team 100%. I am close to 4 years cancer free. And chemo wasn't half as bad as radiation to my head! As someone above suggested, write down your questions for next appointment with your partner. And remember the sooner the better, time is important with the beast.
It is very sad that the oncologists attitude came across as aggressive in discussing your partner's options. I have heard others express this approach and it is as if they are just seeing you as another disease to be treated. They forget the person in front of them is just that - an individual. They forget that just maybe that person may not want chemotherapy. Your heading was interesting - What's so good about chemo - i think. My cancer isnt the same as your partner's
but we have a killer disease and the drugs needed to defeat it are also killers! but as yet we don't have any other means of treating it that are strong enough. I have had cancer for nearly 20 years now and have been through numerous chemo treatments. I suppose I have never thought there were any options. Not to have was not one for me because I wanted LIFE and looking back over the years and the treatments they seem such a small part of those 20 years and I am glad they were there for me and have given me those years. I think you have been right to take time out on this. Maybe 6 months is a bit too long to let the disease progress untreated so I hope when you both feel ready to talk about it again you will contact your onc team. I wish you both the best.
