Yesterday I went with my Civil Partner so that she could talk with the Oncologist about possible ways forward. There was an underlying assumption that she would want chemotherapy and even that she would want to join a trial. She was very distressed by this rather aggressive attitude and finally decided to postpone a decision for another six weeks. She has been told that she has less than a year and six months of that could be spent in chemo. At the moment that looks like a really dud choice.....we are not convinced. Any help?
FormerMember
Hi Annie, so sorry to hear about your partner. My partner also has advanced cancer with secondary liver and we have been told chemo is his only option together with radio at a later date.
I think chemo is being used more and more as a treatment for advanced cancer and things have moved on so much that its not necessarily as horrific as it used to be, my partner is having chemo to improve his symptoms and we are hoping that if he has a good response surgery may be an option further down the line.
As far as we are concerned anything that can give him a fighting chance has got to be worth it. Obviously if he doesnt respond and the side effects outweigh the benefits then we would have to reconsider but for now its our only hope and we are going for it!
Ultimately its your choice but if you read some of the posts on here i am sure you will find them very uplifting and i do believe that miracles can and do happen, where there is life there is always hope-never give up!
Please try to contact me as I have no way of contacting you
Your blog mirrors a lot of what has been happening to our family over the last 4 months - everything is so alien and puts everyday life on its head instead of its feet
Chemo yes or no? - big question and only your partner and yourself can make that decision
on march 17th (st patricks day of 2008, i was told i had 3 to 4 months to live. i was given 8 chemo sessions which finished in september.
in feb of this year i was told my tumours are stable, and as far as i am aware they still are. of the nearly 8 months of chemo i can honestly say i felt well for about half of that, but i have been feeling better and better since it finished in sept, to the point where i feel totally normal,so i am a year past my sell by date and feeling good due to chemo, so for me it was all worth it including the hair loss, sickness aches and pains.
as far as i am concerned..... if you dont at least try a couple then you`ll never know. good luck. liz xxx
My husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last year. His prognosis was less than a year. Palliative chemo was offfered, a relatively new treatment for his type of cancer. It appeared to me that his oncologist was pushing him to accept chemo, without giving him all the relevant information. Like you I felt that the sixteen weeks required for six cyles of chemo was a big chunk of the limited time left to him. I only told him once that in his position Iwould choose to enjoy what quality time i had left. He was far more positive than me, and determined to do his damnest to best the disease. Now a year on, he is in remission. Perhaps he was lucky to suffer only minimal side effects, but each treatment and every patient are different. We were careful not to put him at risk of infection while his immune system was low, but other that that between treatments we were able to socialise a litte, and visit relatives. Now, a year after diagnosis he is still in remission, and still fit enough to lead a normal life, doing all the things he did before he became ill. we were told at the end of his chemo that only 40% of patients get any benefit, and few of those do as well as he has. i guess what i am trying to say is that you can never tell if chemo will work, but it is worth considering the odds carefully before your partner turns it down flat. Can i suggest that before you see the oncologist again you write a list of any questions you have, and insist on getting answers.
I dont know what kind of chemo your partner has been offered.
All I can say is just prior to my lumpectomy and lymph node clearance I took a chemo drug which is on trial for women pre op which up to now has only been used in the last 5-6 years in people who's cancer has either returned or where it has spread throughout the body but has been used with a good rate of sucess. In my case my lump shrank by almost 2/3rds.
All I had was 6 tablets once a day and after the first week minimal side effects, ie some loose stools and a little fatigue if I over did it (1st week wasnt so good more diarrhea no energy and nausea).
So I would say ask them what they want to use and how it works and what is the success of it, you have a right to know this and if they dont give it get a second oppinion you are entitled to it.
Please bear in mind chemo hasnt got to be all negative and if it can help relieve your Partner of some of the hell of this diseasa and give her a better quality of life then it may be an option. Although I think your Oncologist does sound that a course in human communication might help.
