six months today since I lost my beautiful Mum

1 minute read time.

Hi

Well six months today since I loss my beautiful mum. Started to get tearful yesterday and continue today. I am also thinking back to exactly this time last year, June was such a significant month as I spent ten days away from my family to be with mum whilst she received treatment in hospital and then brought her home with me for a further two weeks, so I have all these clear memories of what we were doing this time last year and it’s hard. I never in my wildest dreams thought that we had such little time left and I still feel that disbelief of what has happened. It’s so hard living life without such an important person, after all Mum and I d been together all of my life, and nine months before. Life has changed forever and certainly not for the better. I now see life as a challenge; can I survive without my Mum? Old and trusted friends, my brothers and of course my sons and partner have all taken on new significance for me, even more important and precious as they are all I have left, now the two 'rocks' in my life have gone. Yet I feel it is just me, not alone, just that I am on my own. When I had my parents I was a part of them, but now ultimately it is just me.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Annrachel

    Just wanted to reach out to you, the feelings you have echo my own and it will be nine months next week since Mum passed. This time last year we were still in blissful ignorance of what lay ahead. there are good days and bad days still, some when you least expect. But never be alone, this site helped me through some of my darkest moments. Your mum is still with you , within you and always will be close in your heart.

    Sending a hug your way, I know how hard this journey can be at times,love Sharonxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you Sharon for taking the time to reply. I'm so sorry to hear that you too lost your dear Mum recently. Yes it's so hard looking back at this time last year and then what we have (don't have) now! It's been a shocker! Don't know when or how I'm going to come to terms with living happily without Mum.I think you just feel so lost when your parents leave, it's difficult to adjust to life without them. But we have no choice. Hope that you are coping and feel some happiness everyday

    Many thanks for posting. (((Hugs))) Ann-Rachel

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Ann-Rachel, life really is a path of ups and downs and each path we pass has its joys and sadness - some of them profound like losing your mum.  You are, for your children, loved ones, the mainstay in their lives now so you will pick up the baton and be at the front for them.  Take all your sadness and turn it into strength for them so, one day, they will be able to take life in a bittersweet way and just carry on.  What lovely memories you have, cherish them, don't try and forget them, they are your strength.  Ann x

  • Hi Ann-Rachel, yes a hard hard road...  A road we just fumble though hoping to get somewhere - though sometimes really not sure where we are heading.  I lost my beloved dad on 8th April, and go through times of joyful blissful memories of being so lucky for having him and blessed for his 67yrs, and having such a special Dad... then feeling incredible ripped off for him being 'only' 67yrs, and why the bloody hell did he have to go through this cancer shit and how I miss him...  Then I see my strong Dad, never did he complain, nor did he ask why...  Somehow makes me strong and smile for what a hell of a fantastic Dad I had...  People ask about grieving, but I have to say that i believe that this is done by living and having no regrets...  looking back and smiling on the memories and being that person that we are proud to be, and to be proud to have that loved one with our memories   X jules

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Jules and Ann,

    It's really kind of you both to take the time to reply to me, your wise words really do make a difference. The last 6 months have been difficult to say the least. I was dealing with the sudden loss of lossing my Mum, day by day, week on week working with my emotions. I was doing well, and I am I believe quite a strong and positive by nature Unfortunately recently,,the last five weeks,I have had to cope with further losses which I just found too much at a time when I guess I was already vulnerable. I am 'picking' myself up a little now with the aid of a counsellor, who I enlisted as I thought I was about to loss my mind, but it has been a scary time.

    Nevertheless I know I am still one of 'the lucky' ones, for so many reasons and it could be worse, as it certainly is for many others. I agree we must always look on the bright side, no matter how hard sometimes. It has been  hard this last month, but harder for many others and my heart and prayers go out to them. I sincerely hope life isn't too hard for you, Ann and Jules. Thank you again for taking the time to help me with your positive and supportive thoughts. XXAnnrachel