Thursday morning and I'm left on my own as T goes back to work after her enforced leave from her work. Well, left on my own with three cats a work in-tray a mile high and a home in-tray at least as big! Just glad it doesn't all have to be done in a day!
Now as it's the first of the month I need to do a "pinch, punch, first day of the month" will it be the postman or one of the cats? Here, kitty kitty, daddy's got a treat for you... ;-)
It was great to have such positive support from you lot out there for the book idea. And I agree, we need to get T to join in with the experience. And the suggestions for the book title - doh! You're right, "Thoughts from the Frontline" is quite a good one!
And we've also been asked if we can start up and run a bladder cancer support group locally to us as there isn't one at the moment. Will be talking to our specialist Macmillan nurse about it when we meet up with her at my next CT scan in November. I think I will give it a go as I know how much I have gained from getting support and titbits from other cancer patients and carers.
So, it's all busy busy here at the moment but how do I feel? Well it is good to be back doing work things even if only on a part time basis at the moment. It is certainly good to have the brain working again - even if only on an ad hoc and part time basis!!! Even better to now be far enough post surgery to be allowed to lift a full kettle of water, sure makes it easier to make a cup of tea for myself during the day and saves T having to pour large number of glasses of water out for me and store them in the fridge so that I can drink chilled water without having to lift the big Britta Filter thing!
I even emptied and the refilled the dishwasher today. A chore I will repeat and repeat until the kitchen is clear!
But I do hate not being seen as totally fit yet. I'm still banned from driving for at least another 5 weeks which is like eternity. 5 weeks when you feel like you can do something feels at lot lot longer than 5 weeks when you know you're still groggy from the surgery. Not being able to drive does have it's bonuses in that I a never the designated driver at the moment and it also makes me go out for walks during the day but it does strand you to staying close to home.
And it's the little things that bug me. The fact that I can't carry things the way I used to as I have to be careful about squashing my stoma bag. that would not be a pretty sight! I also miss not being able to sleep on my front at night for the same reason. I now risk sleeping on my side at times but this has turned once into drifting off onto my front which resulted in a nice gradual leak gathering slowly until it woke me up!
But most of all I miss having my mortality ignored. I know you all know what that feels like. Oh well, that's life I suppose....
Andrew xxx
