Twas now a Monday morning and it was time to make the phone call. I'd been out of hospital for four days and was now ten days post op so it was time for the staple removal...
Staples? When did they change to them? What was wrong with good old fashioned stitches? Why did I have a ton of metalwork running down the centre of my body? The six million dollar man? More like the 59p pack from WHSmith and put in by a drunk schoolboy with a plastic see through stapler! Now, I was only making the calls because nobody had contacted me about having the staples out but I'm sure I remembered that they were targeted to be removed about ten days post surgery. So I rang my specialist nurse but she was off for the day. However, the person who answered her phone was most helpful in that she said that the staples would normally be removed at my own doctors surgery so it would be best to give them a call.
So onto phone call number two. "Hello, I wonder if you can help me..."
And so we had booked Wednesday morning for my staples to be removed. Not too bad, just a couple of days to get prepared. Would it hurt? I just didn't know. Anyway, back to watching TV, reading and day dreaming about my boredom. Then the phone rang. "Hi Andrew, it's Marie from the surgery. The nurse has had a cancellation today so you can come in at 11.50 this morning if you want" OK, that's not a problem I replied and thought "shit", how things can change so quickly. So, I popped into the shower and got dressed ready for my walk up to the doctors. The walk would take about ten minutes so I decided to leave fifteen minutes before the appointment to allow me chance to take it easy and even have a brief rest before the upcoming trauma of staple removal!!
Then the door bell rang. Parcelforce was delivering my first big package of stoma stuff. Night bags, night bag stand, bags, skin protection towellettes and about a million boxes of "non woven swabs". As I closed the door the phone rang. "Hi Andrew, it's the nurse here. You can come up straight away if you want rather then waiting." Err "OK" I say "I'll come straight up"
So much for having a couple of days to get myself mentally prepared for the staple removal. I now had to just pick up my keys and walk up to the doctors. Glad it is only about 150 yards from our house! I get there and walk towards reception only to be told "You can sit down Andrew, she wont be long". How does the receptionist know my name? I've only been to the doctors a couple of times before. Am I famous or are they just good at their job! Me thinks the latter!
10 seconds later I'm called into the treatment room. Now I'm nervous. Never having staples or stitches removed before gave me no reference point for pain or even how they would do it. So I climbed on the couch and laid down. My hands gripping air with my knuckles going white. Then, clip, clip, clip it was done. No real pain. Slightly strange feeling. A bit uncomfortable but no more than that. But I had broken out a sweat due to nerves. But it was all over and the scar was apparently "doing good". So I gathered up my bits and walked home. Total time out the house - 30 minutes. All done and it was still Monday morning!
I arrived home and called T as instructed. "It's all done babe and I'm still alive! I'm now going to have a rest..."
And so Monday continued with just the simple little things in life happening. I was now staple free and, most certainly, on the mend. But, so so bloody boring! When oh when will I be able to be normal? Ever? I want to get up, go to work, do different things, go out, stay in, just be able to CHOOSE!!!! Next big event in my life was not until Thursday when I had an appointment with my doctor about doing something about my "impaired kidney functions". I am my illness. This has to change....
Andrew xx
