Hi,
So this is me. Two weeks ago today, at about 10.30am, I went into see the doctor at my local hospital. I was all gowned up with my new slippers and dressing gown and ready for my cystoscopy examination. I wasn't nervous as this was just a repeat visit to redo the tests I had 18 months before when they found out that I had an enlarged prostate but no worries as it wasn't cancerous. I'd already had an ultrasound scan down in the xray department a short while earlier and was just a tad concerned about a brief comment on my urine retention (about 900ml !!!) but didn't worry about the simple question "when did you say you had your last scan?"
So, I was a bit stunned when the doctor, who by now I knew as "Paul", asked me to sit down whilst he explained to me that they had found a large growth in my bladder and due to the large amounts of blood in my urine it was not a good idea to do a straight forward cystoscopy as the visibility would be so bad. He therefore recommended that I was admitted to hospital when they could do the examination under general anaesthetic. Shit. Well a few other choice words entered my head in that split second. Did I just hear right? Has he just told me that I might have cancer?
So I asked him. Well, I asked Paul as already I knew I could trust this man not to beat about the bush. His answer... Could be but we do need to do the tests but there;s certainly a growth of some kind in there that we need to sort out straight away. Paul then explained that I could go home and come back in a week or to for the investigations or they could admit me straight away today.
It took me less than a second to decide to get admitted straight away but I said "Can I have a word with my other half before I decide?" So, I went next door and called T into the room and then after telling her that they had found a growth in my bladder I asked Paul to explain all again. Within a heartbeat we had decided that I would be admitted straight away, the thought of going home and waiting for up to two weeks was a no no.
So I was admitted and found a bed within 20 minutes. And the wait started... The plan was soon in place and I was being hooked up to a catheter with a linked flushing system with the intent of clearing the urine and blood clots out of my bladder so that they could see what was going on in there when they did the cystoscopy later. This was my first ever stay in hospital and my first ever catherter. I asked the nurse if it would hurt having it put in. She explained with a sombre face "With some men they don't seem to have any problem, with others, they cry" She then smiled and I had been welcomed to the black humour world on the cancer patient. :-)
I'm just about to be picked up my Kim for a day out at the shops so I'll finish for now and continue again soon.
Thanks for reading, keep fighting the fight, and remember to smile at the good things that have and will happen today
A xx
