Almost a year

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

27 Nov 2010

Not written a blog yet however have read many, well here goes !!! It;s been almost a year since I was told I had cervical cancer, and yes the feelings are still there and very very raw. Most would say that I have been lucky (just a radical hysterectomy) but mentally I'm screwed !!!

Last year I thought this is my last Xmas dinner, last year opening presents with my children BUT I am still here pretty normal to most but to me the day they mentioned CANCER is still in my head and will always be there. This year I will feel lucky to be here another year to feel well but secretly I will be feeling WHAT IF ??? Does that feeling ever leave you ? or do you live with it ?

Dont get me wrong not sad and realise I am VVVVVVV lucky hey what if I shout out loud at my sons Xmas play with pride I AM THERE !!! last year I wondered. Makes you realise what you have a wonderful husband and family grateful for that no matter what the future brings...........

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Tatler - First congratulations on your first blog ! Another step on the road back to normality.

No, maybe the fear and dread you felt never leaves you completely - but in some ways that is good to remember honest !

Please think of it as a wake up call to remind you we are all mortal. As you have proved so many recover and go on to enjoy a life watching the children grow to maturity - the opportunity to share their birthdays and Christmases and be there to see them open their presents while you open yours.

Maybe the 'What If' stays with us for a long time, it is a reminder that life is precious - never take a single day for granted - none of us know how many we have been allowed - just some of us get reminded to enjoy the ones we have.

Try to live every day as if it were your last and get all you can from it.

Each day can be as happy as you set your mind to make it. I hope this is the best Christmas ever for you and your Family

Love and Hugs

John xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

I can't do more than endorse what John says. To live each day the best you can.

The fear of the cancer coming back is quite hard for me to deal with (I am a carer - my husband had tongue cancer) and sometimes the fear is very close to the surface eg husband Mike has some biopsies outstanding which could show cancer had come back.

But I give the 'dark stuff' space and respect, and in time it is replaced by the joy in the life we still have together.

All best wishes to you and your family. Cathy XXX
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Tatler,

Like Cathy says I go along with every word John said. I hope this is you and your Families Happiest Christmas ever. All the best and Good Luck.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Tatler,

It is almost a year since i was told i had ovarian cancer, and i thought like you,would this be my last Christmas,but a year later after treatment no cancer left. It makes you take stock of your life and realise what is important to you. I do wonder what if it comes back,i just have to live with it and i am hoping for a really happy Christmas this year. I know my life will never be the same again,it will be better because i intend to enjoy every precious day.Have a lovely Christmas.

Best Wishes Sue xx
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