Unlike many of you my husband, Alan, didn't have a long period of suffering, his surgeon gave results on 28th jan, 29th jan saw the oncologist, who advised against treatment, on Thursday as usual, he went out for a pint with his darts pals, ok so he didn't play, but he walked in, had a pint and walked out, back up the street due to lack of parking. Friday30th Jan he had his first ever daytime sleep and struggled coming downstairs so much I got a hospital bed. The next day he didn't wake up. Died 2nd February 5.30 am. I have never properly grieved, to be honest he is still sat beside me, every morning I wake and go to hug him, then I remember. I read so many comments on here about individuals who have been very bad for years, I don't know whether to be happy or jealous Alan's diagnosis to death was so quick. I feel I have been robbed, my kids have been robbed, but at least they never saw the incontinence etc. a friend of mine asked me to Thailand, I only cremated Alan on the 11th of Feb,I know it's soon but I have booked, go on Wednesday, I know Alan will be with me but not in the flesh, wish me luck. This was on our bucket list, can't believe I'm doing it without him, but the time is right, no job, no kids, but I do have the money from his car. So why not, at least the next time I. Meet people they can say hi, how's Thailand, instead of hiding in a shop because either they have little to say or are to scared to ask the question, how are you?
FormerMember
Which widow(er) was 'lucky' is a very good question, but one to which there is no answer.
I was lucky. I had 10 months with Laing from the day of his diagnosis. The chemo wasn't much fun for either of us, but the last two holidays we had made up for it. I was able to look after him in the final stages helping him to dress and undress when it was hard work for him. Of course I would rather we had not had the cancer to cope with, but I realised how much I was ready to do and give up for him. Call it love, call it duty, call it what you will, but whatever it was I was prepared to face up to it.
After the cremation I went to Venice, our favourite city. It was the right thing for me to do. I hope your trip to Thailand is right for you too. You do realise that having posted about it we will all expect updates and photos? Where are you going in Thailand? It's a great country and the culture is amazing. Tell us all about it!
Thank you so much Tim for your comments. So pleased to hear Venice was the right choice for you after the funeral, it makes me feel so much happier about my decision to visit Thailand. Don't know about the updates and photos, might manage the updates but wouldn't have a clue where to begin adding photos.
Big hug
Janet
Photos are easy as pie. You might need to make them smaller than direct from the camera with some software (I am assuming you are digital!) and to add them to your blog? Look at the icons, working from the right you have
(1) HTML (don't worry, clever clogs programming language types use this), then (2) a clipboard with a W. If you have Word you can put your blog in there with the (small) photos and copy and paste it into the box where you normally type, then (3) something that looks like graph paper (am I showing my years?) and a pencil, you don't want to know, and finally (4) the icon has a small plus bottom right hand corner and if you squint hard enough or have better eyesight than I, you will see a tree. You have arrived! Click on it. It opens a window and you just find the image on your computer, select it and so long as it is within the dimensions specified it will appear as if by magic like this.
This is a photo I took over the alps on my way to Venice in December on board the gorgeous Jumbolino, aka BAe0-146, which transported Laing and I on many a European journey in and out of London City Airport. It's a gorgeous plane, but sadly it's getting long in the aviation tooth and is being phased out. The last Jumbolino out of City will be a sad day for me.
N.B. No excuses about no computer on holiday are acceptable!
And yes, I am showing off that if you highlight a block of text and press the B or I icons in the top of this box you get B = B or I = I. If you really want to be snazzy and show off to your heart's content, then highlight the text and click on the B and keeping the text highlighted, click on the I and you get text that is both bold and italicised. But that is me being flash.
Have a great holiday no matter what and tell us all about it. Don't worry about the tears or missing Alan, it happens. Laing always noticed a far away look on my face when I was looking out of a plane window and he would comment I was thinking of my mother. I think of both of them now. My life on planes!
I saw elephants and then some, so pleased I went away to Thailand, thought it might be a difficult time but oddly it was easier than rattling around the house.
