Hi just been on chat but could not stay been like that for few days now think had to much on my mind . Quite selfish in some ways but the fact that those feelings are coming back again is the reason . been on holliday at home last two weeks and spent most of that at hosp having checks and tests,all ok thank god , but still one to come the big one biopsy on prostrate thats the one that has started the feelings again . just when i thought i had beaten this bloody monster it has decided to raise its head some where else or might have . The thing is i don't think i have the strength to go through this all again and don't know if i want to try .maybe the test will be nonmalignant hope so . I am so sick of being sick its a never ending story and has been for two and half years not just the cancer but all that comes with it .the worst thing is these bloody bouts off depression starting on one again can't be bothered about much could stay in bed all day dont want to go back to work next week just feel realy down but will gat back on track again i think sorry for the winging don't seem to be able to do this right either
