Six months today since Doug left ....have been through a lot since that day. Went on holiday but in the end my daughter couldnt face staying so she is home now, my younger one is off to uni two weeks today and I find that no matter what life moves on! Still having counselling, still on anti depressants, still struggling along every day. I feel alone and scared most of the time, last night I had a horrid dream and woke up panic stricken only to remember there are no big, warm, safe arms to cuddle me until I calm down anymore. These physical and mental things I miss so much, no one to share that secret smile or joke with, no one to run too when life is shite, no one to put perspective to the rubbish I sometimes think or maybe say....oh how I wish he was here to help me understand this. I have being trying to get out more and try new things but as I said to my counsellor this week, without him I cant see the point! More time is apparently what I need....more time to be alone is what I thought....x
