Depression is starting to rer its ugly head in a noticable way. I find I'm quite detached from the family in general, despite being with them 24/7. Everything irritates me. I don't want to go anywhere or get anything done. I'm eating like I don't know what. I want to cry but I feel like I'm too numb/exasperated to cry. More like I want to scream my lungs out, then go hide under a rock for the next…
So, the past few days, John's been feling really well. Not cranky, not moody, not bumping into things, not exceptionally tired. It's been really good.
On Tuesday, we saw the oncologist and asked to see the scans - compare/contrast old vs new ones and to see, for the first time, exactly how many and how big. The news was relatively good. Most of the tumours in the vital organs have stayed the same or even shrunk…
Had a dream before I woke up properly this morning that I was on holiday somewhere with John. Long story short, a stranger handed me a huge wad of money after I'd helped her pay for something at a market stall. I wish!
Things are getting a bit better today. His personality/intellectual competence has been ever so slightly waning for the past couple motnhs and he's similar to a 14-year-old version of his older self. Just less aware of nuances; not as emotionally mature; stuff like that. But at leasthe's been cheerful today. We went through a few days of his being horrible and stroppy and throwing things and saying things he'd…
So Monday was spent all day preparing for and travelling to a court hearing that happened Tuesday. That's all a long story in itself, but boiled down it is extra stress that's just added to the already tangible strain on the family. John's parents looked after the little ones, with help from second-oldest daughter. The trip was a long one and it definitely took its toll on John. Monday night we met with an…
