I have been disappointed by the "close" friends who have not been close to me during my recent health troubles. I have 4 schoolfriends I'm still in contact with, I'm 52 now and met them at first year secondary, so 41 years ago. I moved to Italy nearly 30 years ago but we have managed to keep our friendships alive. I visit London often, 2-3 times a year and we'd always meet up for dinner and they were fabulous reunions. They'd come to visit me in Italy and they were intense weekends as we'd be together the whole time, sightseeing, long lunches, aperitifs, long dinners......
When I was diagnosed 3 of the the friends said they'd be coming over to visit me. The 4th said she wouldn't due to money troubles. I was delighted to hear that 3 of them would be coming over and knew this would boost me. The first one came over one month into chemotheraphy. It was going well, I had no side effects except for a little tiredness but we had an action packed weekend, spending the day in Milan and the next day in Bergamo. We walked a lot, took in the sights, enjoyed delicious lunches and dinners, laughed and I felt like a normal person. Not like a bald (I was wearing my wig) cancer patient. I was so happy my friend had come over and I slept really well that weekend and felt chuffed that she had made the effort to fly over and check in with me.
The other 2 would occasionally write in our group chat "we must get ourselves organised and come over to see you" but nothing as of today (8 months after my friend's visit.) What has disappointed me that in all this time they have been on weekend breaks away. I am saddened that I wasn't on their trip list. I really thought that they'd come over but I'm realising that our friendship means less to them than it did to me. They send texts, memes and funny video clips but it has become a bit annoying. Is that the best you can do? I may be going to London soon and I think I won't meet up with them. I'll just meet up with the real friend, who, by the way, is coming to visit and stay with me again in December.
Peoples true colours shine through in a crisis situation. Some fade away while others, often unexpectedly, really step up and are there by your side. I'll go into detail in another post. Getting this off my chest has been useful as I have felt let down by them.
