Im sorry, I need a rant....who are we supposed to rant at??? I feel like screaming and I can't. I was diagnosed with renal Cell Carcinoma last week and most of the time I am fine. It was, like, you have kidney cancer now go home and deal with it until we call you in again. I know nothing apart from that. I have been strong for family and friends as I am known as the big brave strong one for everyone. My best friend was on holiday when I was having the tests and diagnosed. I was on my own the whole time as I didnt want to worry my husband or children. They all just think that because I am strong I can deal with it and I am constantly being told that Im lucky as I havent got to have chemo or radiotherapy. Is it lucky to have cancer? Am I being unreasonable? I know (I really do) that there are people far FAR worse off but Im scared. Im scared of the operation, Im scared that when they are removing part of my kidney that they will find more. I'm scared that there will be complications....but, hey, Im lucky!!!! If one of my kids told me they had cancer, I would be there like a shot to hug them. My mum has just decided that she is going to try and come down wednesday or thursday.I know she lives a hundred miles away but they have a car. They foster children and it has bought back a lot of old resentments that I thought I had dealt with that have suddenly resurfaced and I dont like it. I feel selfish and inconsiderate and I am finding that hard to deal with too as this is NOT normally me. Im sorry, just had to get it off my chest without causing arguments
