Time to start over

1 minute read time.

My name is Lauren and I am 24 years old, my husband passed away on 18th October 2010 after a long 3 year battle with bowel cancer, he was just 31 years old. I have started this blog as I am finding it really difficult to find anyone else my age who has been widowed or can even begin to understand what we went through over the past few months in the lead up to my husbands death.

When my husband was diagnosed we had just brought our first flat and I was in my final year at university. He had been offered a new job in London and we were both so excited about the future. Then one day he felt a lump in his tummy and within 2 weeks he had surgery to remove the primary tumor. He then went on to join his first of many clinical trials, have a punctured lung, liver surgery, two courses of FOLFIRI, a massive small bowel resection, ileostomy, sepsis, another clinical trial, radiotherapy and was finally referred to a drug development unit where he had more study drugs. This all happened over three long years and to be honest now he has passed on I just feel angry about it all.

He was so brave and fought to hard it just all seems so unfair, he just wanted to live. I miss him so much and even though I have people around me no one really understands how it feels so battle for long and lose the person you love.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Lauren for once I am dumb founded. I really don't know what to say.

    I thought that I was young to be widowed at 52 when my husband died in my arms in 2006, but to be 24 has rendered me speechless.

    Whatever the age to see someone we love fight for life and to suffer in the process is horrendous and hidious!

    It do's get easier but we never forget.

    I hope that you can find some support here on this site.

    It will be hard to find many people of your age but you will find people who have been through the same as you.

    I wish you all the best for the future.

    Good Luck love Julie X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Lauren,

    My deepest sympathy goes out to you, so young

    to have lost your husband before your lives even started.

    You will find a lot of new friends on this site. If you want to talk to scream and roar or just look for support and understanding .their will always be someone here that you can talk to day or night.

    You look after yourself. May your Husband.R.I.P.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hello lauren

    i am not quite as young as you but I am only 32, my husband died on 17th july of bowel cancer. he too wanted to live so badly, and he was so brave following his diagnosis. But unlike you his diagnosis was made far far too late, it was only 7 weeks before his death. he had only 1 cycle of chemo and then had bowel perforation the surgoens said they could not operate on.

    Although we are very unusual being so young there are others around our age on this site, a few like me without children and they have been through similar things.

    It is so very very early for you, the pain must be so unbareable, that changes with time. we will never forget and the loss will never go, but we will learn to cope. they would want us to.

    I am here if you need to talk, there are several threads you can join in the coping with loss forum and if you feel like a chat, try the chat rooms (mainly afternoon and evenings). people on here are good support.

    right now, don't expect too much of your self, getting through each day is enough.

    be kind to yourself

    T