How to cope with losing a parent

Hi Jodie

i don't know what i can say to you about losing your dad apart from sorry, it must be so difficult being so young too, and your mum i understand what you mean about when your father died she took her with him, my gran was the very same when my papa passed away 2yrs ago she is still has her moments, but in the beggining it was very hard for her.

i personally understand how you feel about your life being tipped upside down i am 25 and have cervical cancer i also have 4 young children, at the start i was angry seeing friends etc continue with 'normal life ' while i go through this, but now i have become strong (ish) again and dealt with it in my own way as hard it has been and trust me there has been many lonely dark moments still is and will be in the future - but even though we have different circustances i understand. On this site there is a lot of people who can help you and listen to you.

you take care of yourself and your mum

and anytime you need to speak we are here to listen

Hugs

Sarah x x  

Hi Jodie,we tend to think our parents

are invincible, and to loose your dad

when you are young must be very hard.

For your mum the loss she feels is of

her soul mate , and to have to make a

a life and future without the man you love

is scary. You and your mum are still

on what can be a long journey when

grieving, and there will be so many

emotional changes to face. No one can

know the devastation of losing a loved

one till they have been thru it themselves,

the anger which you are feeling now is

part of grieving, disbelief, up one day

down the next, little things will remind you

of your dad , and that's how it should be,

he was a part of your life for 25years,

and it is early days , you are both still

very raw from your loss. In time your

memories of your dad will help you to get thru this sadness that is so overwhelming

right now. Your dad will always be in your heart, and you have 25years of

wonderful memories .Your Dad would want you to grab life and make the most

of it, and slowly your hurt wont be so

painful, yes there will be times when your loss will overwhelm you, but you will

get thru this and be able to remember

your dad with a smile , and your greaf will

get quieter, and your dad will always be in your life,  you just wont see him,but

you know he will always be in your heart.

Be kind to yourself, you and your mum

need each other now for support.

With Love Lucylee. xx

Hello,

I don't know if you check this anymore but I figured I would post anyway.  I lost my dad to stomach cancer when he was 63 years old and I was 26 years old.  So I know what you are going through very well.  And it has made it very hard on my mom as well, because they did everything together and loved each other very much.  I was very upset when my Dad passed away because it is of course not the way I wanted it to end.

But now that it is a little over two years since it happened, I realize that there is an opportunity to learn about life from losing someone that is very important to you.  It can open your mind a little bit to simple things like being nicer to people you encounter on a daily basis.  

And your mom will be okay too, if she works hard at searching for the good in everything.  Maybe you can both be grateful for having each other still.  I know I feel grateful for being able to have a dad that I loved very much, and therefore it tore me apart when he died.  

So, look for the good in everything, and work hard at it.  Then things may begin to settle I think.  You will start to notice that a lot of the world around us does operate on a shallow level.  Not that I claim to be highly enlightened or anything, but I do notice things now (like rude people) that I just refuse to waste my time with.  And I see my Dad in people and try to treat them with more respect when they are working hard, just trying to make a better life for themselves.  Anyway, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your mom (and any other family).  It's not easy, but it can be okay if you work at it, and allow yourself to be grateful for what you do have.  Take care, I'm hanging around this board these days if you need to talk.  

Ira