Its been quite a while......nearly 5 months since my last blog.......how time flies!!!
I did pop in quick about a week or two ago but got called away almost as soon as I logged in :(
Our lives so far had been plodding along nicely (well as nicely as it can being a member of this club), we have had some good weather and been away in our caravan a few times along with family and friends. I was feeling a bit under the weather and tired all the time so, like a good little girl I booked an appointment with the GP. Before I was due to go I wrote a list of how I was feeling and what did and didn't hurt.......my healthy shopping list (edited) read like this;
Tired all the time
sleeping not good...........(causing tiredness)
Hip hurts and aching legs....... (wakes me up, causing tiredness)
Very tearfull.......(cos I'm bloody tired)
Have no energy.......(cos I'm bloody tired all the time)
So you get my drift, I'm bloody tired........or so I thought !!....
Conversation with GP went abit like this.......GP " how are you today"........dah !! I'm sitting in your office cos I fancy a cup of tea and a nice cream bun. Stupid woman.
I handed my list over and explained how I was feeling......(did I add I was crying a lot too).... We talked about Dave and BiL, the kids, the niece, nephews, grandchildren, even the damn weather.....THEN....THEN she said... "so what do you think is wrong with you"....I truely wanted to scream out loud. "Well" I said, "I think I'm bloody tired". I also think I'm depressed due to feeling totally overwhelmed by the needs of all the family, and I do mean all.
I came to that self diagnosis when one of my sister-in-laws asked me for the address of her brothers son.....what am I, the bloody oracle...did I spell that right...the all knowing, know jack s**t.
She agreed but added I may be going through the change (into a much loved dog I hope) too. So I left with a hop, a skip and me did fall down...bloody hard.
I was explaining to Dave what was said and that the family need to give me breathing space, when out of the blue he said "you will have to ring..........I didnt let him finish, I flipped out, screaming NO MORE, NO MORE......I dont really remember much after that except uncontrolable sobbing and then our son and daughter being there. It took a while, a bit of counselling and a lot of love from our kids and grandkids but happy to say I'm much, much better. I have also gone back to work, making curtains and roman blinds but away from home. Its helped me cope better all round.
They say it comes in 3's......Dave had his check up 4wks ago and they have found a couple of growths in his mouth, they aren't doing anything about them at the moment, he is due back in 2wks time. Gutted and hope its nothing to worry about.
BiL is on the down hill slope now. They came out to visit us in the caravan after Daves check up cos he is worried about Dave, bless him. We had such a good laugh, happy memories were made that night. He said to Dave that he felt sorry for him, as he knows he (BIL) wont get better, but Dave is living with the not knowing. Sis-in-law and I understood what he was saying but Dave couldn't get his head round it. He didn't look well that day, swollen with the steroids, short of breath but the humour was magic. After my phone conversation with SIL today she finally told me how bad he has got. She didnt want to put pressure on me so would only say he was ok. Dave and I have talked before about him going down there to stay with them, so I'm packing his bags tomorrow..... not all of them, just enough to keep him in clean undies till fri then I will join them.
We also lost our f.a.c of a dog after a very short spell of sickness.....it has set Dave back a bit with his depression, we miss her like crazy but a day at a time is working well for him, and with me being out of the house for hours he has to get up and care for our little dog.
They say things happen for a reason, can't work out how bloody cancer fits into that though!!
So thats our update folks. Havent checked on anyone, sorry, but your in my thoughts daily, I think only best wishes for all of you and hope your doing ok
Hugs and kisses and much, much love to you all.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((love you))))))))))))))))))))))))
