I find myself revisiting a lot of my mum's favourite places, maybe to try and see things from her point of her view anew, perhaps through her eyes.
Went to a Thai restaurant we used to go to, that she liked - lovely delicate food.
Oddly I feel as though I am geting to know her better. If there is anything in the belief that those who have passed over can send messages to the living, I am probably getting a few now. I know, for example, that I started new antidepressants today and I felt a definite sense of approval from somewhere and maybe that was her, maybe saying, look, it'll help you, it's only for a while....." She was a GP, so that would make sense. She believed in people taking conventional medicine to at least help themselves get over a rough patch. When things got better, they could stop. She knew I was very into alternative medicine and would not like to take tablets. However, once I took my first one, today, I felt a kindness and an approval in the air. Crikey there are a few side effects though - tummy upset and a few muscle cramps. But no straitjacket needed as yet. Actually other than these, I don't feel any different. But apparently I've got to wait two weeks for any effect to be felt.
Also, went to a beauty counter in a shop where we both got a makeover weeks before she died. She bought this great new foundation and lipstick she really enjoyed using. It was amazing to watch her getting this makeover and looking beautiful after cancer. She wasn't really into makeup but she enjoyed getting all the advice. It was around this time last year at the start of summer.
I also know she knows I am not happy where I am living. I think if she's around, she's concerned. Some things never change do they!
Sometimes I think you do revisit the past in order to go forward. As long as you're going forward.
