Having to deal with rejectiion and setbacks at the moment, talked to the counsellor today at Maggie's Cancer Care. She is really understanding but pointed out to me that rejection and knockbacks are part of life. It's just, I've had about three in the one week!
Also, not sure if I am going back to my comedy class. I got disappointment there too. We act and perform our own comedy scripts, and my work didn't get filmed as part of the TV recording we did and I was gutted. It felt personal although it wasn't. I then submitted the script to a theatre company and that came back a no as well. I also feel that some people in that class are laughing at me too, for wanting it all to go somewhere, so badly. I really wanted to be able to say to them that it didn' t matter about the TV recording because my application got accepted by the theatre company. But it didn't. Now, after all these disappointments, and also I had liked someone in that class and thought he was a friend I could talk to and I heard him mocking my script and my acting, not-quite-behind-my back, so I could hear him as well. He mocked it to the student who was chosen to have her script filmed. That was hurtful. They went off together after class. When I got home, I really wanted to let him know what I thought of him. I thought of sending him an e-mail saying I'd been bewildered and hurt by his remarks, but somehow I don't feel that would help the situation. I am bewildered and hurt though, and am left with it all to deal with on my own. What price friendship? And all of this feels like being hit with a brick because of all I've been going through recently. I had thought to boost my confidence by going to the comedy class. But it seems to have had the reverse effect. It's made me cry not laugh.
I thought it was going to be fun. Instead, it turns into the X Factor. Next time, this woman will be prancing around, all smug in her victory of getting both script and man. I know it will be hard to get through the class. Also, it's the last class and I won't see them next term because It's full. It's first-come first-served: you don't automatically get re-enrolled. It's all pretty hard. That said, I'm not sure if I want to carry on with it if it's going to be the X Factor for comedy. Will it be The Chuckle Factor? Do you think Michael McIntyre would make a great new Simon Cowell for comedy?
A friend of mine is having a live sitcom performance on Saturday so I might go along to that and talk to her afterwards. If I ask her nicely she might let me put it on in the future, who knows? But after all of this, I'm wondering whether it's wise not to get my hopes up too much.
I'll let you know what happens ....
