The Black Dog

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

9 Aug 2013

One thing I do think is important for me to mention here is my history of depression. I just want to let people know on here who read my blog that I had depression for nearly 9 years and I know all my signs. I know when I'm about to fall and I know when I need to get help before I cant get back up again.

I very often get people worrying about me when I have periods like this, where I'm not sleeping/eating etc. Unfortunately for me, it's the first thing to be affected when I'm stressed or upset. It doesn't mean that I'm going to become emaciated and psychotic from lack of sleep, I just need a few days to get myself right again and I'll be ok. I know myself well enough to know when I'm not going to be ok.

I just don't want anybody on here thinking that I'm going to do anything 'stupid' or try to harm myself. I am not about to put my family through more trauma by doing something like that. I couldn't, and wouldn't even put them through that. I am not at risk. Even when I'm at my most depressed, even when I can't function anymore, I'll never do anything like that.

I have an excellent GP, a very patient and supportive boyfriend and good friends and family. Not forgetting the wonderful friends I've made on here who have been great - I'll be fine. Some days are just harder than others.

FormerMember over 11 years ago

Thanks for being open about your depression. It is something I wholeheartedly support. I hit rock bottom some years back and had the love and dogged persistence of a wonderful man to get me out of the depths of despair. I hated going back to work but he sort of made me do it (OK encouraged me to view things more positively) and I couldn't let him down, and more importantly myself, as he had me looking at myself in a better light.

Depression is, like cancer, something that is commonplace, but it is also never gets mentioned enough in the right way. They both be really bad or not as bad as first thought. Like you, I recognise my signs. My GP practice is looking after me well.

When you get the hard days, I'm sure writing about them is a simple way of getting everything into focus as best one can. It's like looking through the lens of a camera, isn't it? What is the true focus of the image you see through the lens? It's not necessarily what is closest to you. I've learned from my last big depression that the final straw was just that, but there was more going on that got me there.

I'm glad you have the ability to see your problems, but it's only those who have been through depression before who know about it.

Tim
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