Back in May I felt a hard mass on my left breast just above my nipple. At first I dismissed it as it didn’t feel like a lump. Also my period was due so I put it down to hormonal issues.
Then 2 weeks later I watched Loose Woman where the lady that played Roxy in Eastenders was talking about how she had breast cancer and how anything in your breast that feels abnormal to get it checked regardless if it feels like a lump or not. I felt my breast again and the hard mass was still there so I called my Dr and got an appointment the next day.
They referred me to the hospital and the following week I was told I had breast cancer.
The feeling of been told this was for me like an out of body experience I felt like I was watching someone on the Television being told , it didn’t sink in that it was actually me. For the weeks that followed after this I still felt I was in a dream and this was not happening to me. I had a mixture of emotions in the weeks that followed. Anger and sadness of why this was happening to me.
Then something just changed in me and I started to think I need help and support from cancer organisations and how can I help myself along this journey to make it a journey of healing and hope.
So I went onto Macmillan website and found out they offer free counselling sessions through BUPA. I had to have an assessment to see if I qualified and passed this. The counselling was amazing and just made me realise that what I was feeling was normal and made me change my outlook on this cancer journey and to try and be a bit more positive and gave me some hope.
I also went into my local Maggie’s centre and for the first time was able to break down and cry and just let all my emotions out. They gave me lots of support and information on the support they offer. So far I have joined their monthly Breast cancer support group which was amazing as I was able to hear from other ladies on how they have been coping with being diagnosed and their journey so far. It really helped me being able to chat and open up more about my journey.
I also attended just this week a course at the Maggie’s called Look Good Feel Good. Trained make up artists come and give you hints and tips on how to do makeup. The main thing for me was how to draw my eyebrows in if I loose them due to Chemo. The session was amazing and we also got a makeup bag full of lots of makeup and skin care products .
I try to go up to the Maggie’s house as much as I can even just to sit at the big table and chat to other people that are there it really helps.
I have started my Chemo treatment and I decided to fast before and after the treatment so I had no food before 2pm the day before. I had read something on you tube about how this could help with lowering side affects and the science behind it.
well for my first session I did feel really tired after nauseous for days after it but no other side effects, so I am going to keep trying this process.
I still have a long road to go with the treatment but I am starting to feel as much as I can hope for the future and through reaching out for help this had really helped me heal.
