Today has been a strange day. I have not cried much though I have got to the edge of it more times than I can count, the lump in the throat and the welling in the eyes but then it stopped, I don't know why.
I went to the supermarket and I thought that I could cope with buying my sister a birthday card, it is her birthday next week. so I went to the card isle and looked for sister cards. But the unexpected feelings came because sister cards are next to wife cards! It occured to me that I will never get one of those, too soon after our wedding for there to have been any event for him to buy me one! friend and fiancee cards, but no cards to my loving wife, and there now never will be. Equally i don't get to send him a husband card. Although last valentines day, knowing the wedding was approaching I sent him a husband card and wrote 'to be' on it.
There are so many things we will never get to do.
I also think its about time i told people that Temple is my married surname, a name i have only been using for 3 months and had no chance to change it on any legal things (eg banks) until after Mark died. My name is Becky.
